Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, my mother stopped speaking to me because I won’t let her babysit anymore. Her idea of babysitting is to sit my daughter alone with a tablet and a pile of sugary junk food for 7 hours straight. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML
Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
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Top comments
Saltime 0
Did the baby tell her that? No? Then she has no proof.
davie101 0
That is what brown bags are made for- don't forget the eye slits. just a suggestion...
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Comments (172)
xleanne_aLly 23
When they're older this will be a funny story to tell them :)
ricojordanrai 0
if it's still scared it won't be
xleanne_aLly 23
every one grows out of sh*t
nlr 9
no offense but your sister sound like s bitch for saying that... she doesn't know what her baby is afraid of for all she knows the baby is afraid of her.
lionandthelamb61 9
Ha, no offense. That's like, "No offense, but my baby thinks you're fugly, so stay the hell away until further notice. But, we're cool though, yeah?"
nlr 9
no it's not.
theaws0m3guy 4
OP HULK!!! HULK UGLY!!
theaws0m3guy 4
Lol this comment is hilarious!!
Khyle1396 0
Wow, you seriously just complimented on your own comment. That just screams desperate.
RyanMacVey 17
thats kind of rude... even if its true she should have made up another reason... instead of hurting your feelings like that
SugarRushxx 0
First time you got the thumbs up, huh?
RyanMacVey 17
no actually
hegira 18
You should photoshop your face over hers on a family picture and hand it to the child when they grow up.
ohSNAPyall 27
If it's a family picture they'll probably both be in it.
Keyman1212 14
Your niece will want you one day...
ItWasAllWorthIt 0
She's probably jealous because her own baby likes you more than her.
cgall123 0
that's pretty brutal try maybe try a mask next time
lionandthelamb61 9
Option A.) Paper bag, Option B.) Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack, and Thirdly) Remind little Miss Too Good For Ugly People that when she came shooting out of her moms vadge covered in cottage cheese her family still allowed her ugly alien headed self into the house, so she can just deal with aunt ugly. By the way, when your sister broke the news did she start singing U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alabai, you ugly, hey hey, you ugly?
YurLyfeSucks 0
Um, what?
polkadotsocks 11
to #69, if your questioning the song at the bottom, it's from Bring It On. And to OP if you wear glasses and nobody else in the baby's family wears glasses that could be whats scaring it.
97090370 0
hahaha Saturday night live. Bobby fisher who is he I don't know I don't know
97090370 0
bobby fisher who is he I don't know I don't know
MrSexyPants 14
LOL Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack!! Great movie ;D
tiswine 0
c chien!!