Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML
Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML
Today, I was cleaning out the crawlspace and set a mousetrap off with my testicles. FML
Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML
Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
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Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Now that the mouse has proven its intellectual supremacy, surrender your house and its belongings to your new furry overlords. YDI
aback 5
Mice are smarter than you'd think. Use chunky peanut butter and wedge one of the chunks onto the bait plate so they have to tug a little. Or use those nasty sticky pads then put the full one in someone you don't like's mailbox. (I'm just kidding about the mailbox. That would be a Federal crime. Put it on their welcome mat instead)
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Comments (92)
MeMeMe123455 0
Furry Overlords!!! LOL #4!!!
markh110 0
This reminds me of a hilarious movie starring Nathan Lane... Hehe :D
xxstealthxx 0
haha. "ONCE AGAIN!...the rodant gets away with the food"! lol
spillproof 0
You abuse animals.
BaldOuting 0
Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight? The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.
Tangaman 0
He has set you up the trap. All your hous belong to the mouse
FeeBeeFerSure 0
#16 FTW!
jet_fml 0
Mice these days are pretty smart.
bibsy 0
16 and 17 are beautiful.
fxdxhk90 0
congratulations, your officially a stooge