Today, I failed a basic intelligence test when the mouse trap I was setting up snapped on my thumb. Later, when I checked the trap I saw that the mouse had managed to lick all the bait off the trap without being caught, I have a sore thumb and was outsmarted by a rodent. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I set a trap to catch a mouse that ran across my foot. Not only did the trap shut on my finger twice, but I watched the mouse run over the trap without it snapping shut. I guess I have a new roommate. FML
Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML
Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML
Today, I went to empty a mousetrap, only to discover that SOMETHING had eaten the dead mouse's brain and eyeballs. I reset the trap, only to find a half-dead mouse struggling to get out an hour later. My office is like its own tiny little horror movie. FML
Today, I was cleaning out the crawlspace and set a mousetrap off with my testicles. FML
Today, I found a mouse stuck in a glue trap at work. I had to take it home to get it off with oil, and then I released it outside. Twenty minutes later, the cat returned it to me, dead. After that, the dogs dug it up where I buried it. Sorry, mouse. FML
Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
Today, I was setting up a rat trap at the kitchen table and had just gotten it set when my phone rang. I foolishly leaned over to grab my phone, brushed against the trap, and it snapped closed on my nipple. I wasn’t wearing a bra so that thing grabbed my nipple hard and didn’t let go. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
my_fml_account 2
Now that the mouse has proven its intellectual supremacy, surrender your house and its belongings to your new furry overlords. YDI
aback 5
Mice are smarter than you'd think. Use chunky peanut butter and wedge one of the chunks onto the bait plate so they have to tug a little. Or use those nasty sticky pads then put the full one in someone you don't like's mailbox. (I'm just kidding about the mailbox. That would be a Federal crime. Put it on their welcome mat instead)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
MollyTheCat 13
It's ok Charlie Garden. You'll outsmart old Algernon someday.
BellaFarfella 6
I loved that book!and ewwwwwww I feel the OP's pain! I have a huge fear of rodents.
YLS 0
#47, actually mice are really dumb. Rats and pigs, however, are extremely smart.
martron3000 5
And the worst part of it was that the mouse was sitting in the corner, laughing at you!
wienerwagon 0
Don't feel too bad, my pet rat is smarter than a lot of people. Rodents don't get as much credit as they deserve.
cheneysdick 0
yeah, the trick behind mouse traps is to not set it a couple of times so they trust it. then set it. it's ******* horrible. get a live trap instead. the sticky paper isn't a good option either because animals are known to rip their goddamn little limbs off trying to escape. with sticky pads or mouse traps, you're going to end up with a screaming mouse. found this out the hard way as a child, via parents. hard to sleep with a screaming rodent in the kitchen.
NoMercy_fml 0
Sorry to hear that Tom. You'll get Jerry next time. The bitch has it coming.
sahara89 0
Never have kids.
24788 7
Just put the cheese in the middle of a sticky trap. Then if you're still outsmarted by a mouse kill yourself.
redbluegreen 41
#54/ MollyTheCat - That book was awful. Omg.
Gaz717 0
haha remember that movie mousetrap??