Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
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Top comments
g3rusz 6
The moment was already ruined in the instant when he decided not to spit out the gum before getting intimate with you. Sorry, your BF is stupid.
perdix 31
He thinks that breast milk has a consistency and texture similar to chewing gum? Your boyfriend is an idiot, and I suspect you are not very far up the food chain from him.
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Comments (89)
sucks2_beyou 0
wow how do you. mistake gum for milk?? he better redeem himself big time!
turbosupremewein 0
gum comes from boobs everybody knows that
namhowell 6
ROTFLMFAO.
missmarena 0
ahaha, wow.
michelstaylor 0
hahahahaha that's hilarious :] well the first time I was gonna have sex with My boyfriend, he farted while on topa me... our First time! haha I shoved him offa me an left. anyways, better luck next time! :]
shadaboo2014 0
woooow thts fml worthy ha
emilypicha 0
Wow. I hope that never happens to me!
hipstercrit1 2
It won't
saucey12 1
reading this story first thing came to my mind is he a virgin or he is just that lame....
coffee_addict7 0
It's depressing that there are people that stupid out there.
Ninjaface 0
On the bright side, after he goes down on you your ****** will be minty fresh!
ceceisgay 0
win !
laurendrew 2
19, you win. no one can beat that
terriibabiiix23 0
hahaha, your boyfriend is an idiot !