Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. Trying to be suave, he put a Kool-Fruit between his teeth and motioned for me to kiss him so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do so, I inhaled, swallowing it. He then had to watch me dry-retching as I tried to get it back up. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
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Top comments
g3rusz 6
The moment was already ruined in the instant when he decided not to spit out the gum before getting intimate with you. Sorry, your BF is stupid.
perdix 31
He thinks that breast milk has a consistency and texture similar to chewing gum? Your boyfriend is an idiot, and I suspect you are not very far up the food chain from him.
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Comments (89)
PurpleKuSh_fml 0
wow really....
sparxva 12
I think #6 nailed it--your boyfriend is dumber than stone.
hellokittywhore 0
unless your prago then him thinking that He milked you makes absolutly no since so he's either a stupid ******* moron or he's a kid and you two are too young to be boob sucking let alone be writing about it on Fml.
ragingflame 0
OMFG EVERYONE HE DIDNT THINK IT WAS MILK SHE DID READ IT OVER RETARDS
ceceisgay 0
HE thought milk was coming out. douche -__-'
amberbby69 6
lmao, maybe YOU should read it over. It clearly says HE thought. Major fail at calling people retards when in actuality you're the retard. lol
thirdbase1733 0
woah amber you are really hot
missASHLEYnicole 0
how ironic. you calling us retards when cleary you are like a full blown ri-tard. have a nice day(:
oarisimo 4
hahaha wow 24, I hope you feel stupid now...
bibbit 0
haha omg this is one of the funniest fmls I've ever read
cgrazianoxo 0
weird !!! embarressing! agree?
bucknekd 0
I agree that you can't spell.
Lotty1112 0
I second that opinion.
tAlk_NERdy_tO_ME 0
minty fresh (;
pwincessa23 1
dump him for being retarted
turboless 0
u might want to get that lump checked out.
luuuu20 0
milk! lmao is he retarded or wat tell him that milk only comes out of boobs if u have a new born baby........lol