Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
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Top comments
Cainicide 5
"What the **** you looking at?!" People will stop staring, and big guys are intimidating.
ICastillo 25
Well Op since everyone is already blaming you might as well let them go. Bombs away.
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Comments (62)
martin_martian7 11
Wow that stinks
chrissy2 28
Talk about a bad pun.
Mauskau 36
Some guy farted in front of me on the train this morning. It stank so much people moved carriages, I was stuck where I was. Luckily we were almost at my stop. I'd hate to get the blame though.
pradip 26
As far as I know, farts or any smell doesn't remain for more than few seconds on something that's in motion as in train. Are you sure of why people moved carriages?
Pleonasm 36
The train being in motion doesn't change anything. It lasts as long as it would in any other room, provided all the windows aren't open. Just because the train is in motion, doesn't mean everything in the carriage is whizzing about.
firefly319 7
People who make assumptions aren't worth thinking about. If it happens again tell them if they blame you, you just may eat them. Have a personal laugh on behalf of the ignorant people that make up the population.
ICastillo 25
Noor then he can come back with "Whoever did the rhyme, did the crime."
floon_fml 13
Well.... Did you??
loserman67 36
To which he can reply, "He who smelt it dealt it."
perdix 31
Just suck in your gut and pretend you're not fat. That works. I do it all the time at the beach and everyone is fooled!
Eelam_star 2
What about the double chin, what's your strategy for that?
charvisioku 22
54: Duct tape. It fixes everything ;)
jtrenegade 3
Stop bring fat then.
jtrenegade 3
being*
Bigpoppa0507 10
I know how you feel big guy
SirCharles83 13
Is there an echo in here?