Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
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Top comments
Cainicide 5
"What the **** you looking at?!" People will stop staring, and big guys are intimidating.
ICastillo 25
Well Op since everyone is already blaming you might as well let them go. Bombs away.
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Comments (62)
loserman67 36
Look back at everyone, take a nice long, deep breath and say to them without batting an eye, "Jealous"?
IscoreOnU 19
Embrace it!
zepher93 7
Look on the bright side, it's an opportunity to get a car to yourself.
unknown_user5566 27
That's definitely embarassing OP, but try to look on the bright side of this particular incident. You'll probably never see most of these people ever again, so let them think whatever they want.
mclauren29 22
I know when I was catching the train everyday the same people would sit in the same carriage, in the same seats. Humans are creatures of habit.
brutaltruth 3
I feel for you, often times it may be the skinny woman that farts the loudest and blames it on someone else to hide her embarrassing behavior. Don't be down about it.
bach2121 13
Thats because over eating causes you to fart
Belieber321 2
haahahaha awwww
MisterEx 28
So, how many of you commenters felt an irresistible urge to fart after reading this FML?
laurenlovesjb 20
Not many.
BlueFlatts 20
You'd think i'd make it go the other way in, rather than out.
Stalkerloo 11
I've been weighting all morning for the time to say something witty, but I lost my train of thought before I could come up with something.
Stalkerloo 11
What about "whoever smelt it dealt it?" In this case, it was everyone.