Today, I was making mashed potatoes in a hurry, I had the pot boiling on high when I had to rush to the bathroom. As I'm walking away, I ask my boyfriend to watch the potatoes. When I returned, they were no longer boiling and he proudly announced he added cold water because they looked a little dry. What? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to make mashed potatoes but then went into another room to wait on them, then forgot about them, ruining my only big pot and a full bag of potatoes. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
Today, my flatmate took his hour plus long shower while we both tried to get ready for work. I had a choice to wet myself or pee in a cooking pot. I chose the pot. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML
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Top comments
Tarlachia 33
He's probably also the type that if he were asked to make mashed potatoes, he'd use a meat tenderizer to mash the uncooked potatoes.
Indianboy9321 25
Third times NOT the charm in your case.
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Comments (13)
Tarlachia 33
He's probably also the type that if he were asked to make mashed potatoes, he'd use a meat tenderizer to mash the uncooked potatoes.
sasquatchius 3
Cooking is one of life's basic skills, if you can't do it you're either disabled, or a useless human being.
SeveralLake 18
Yeah, because everyone just knows how to cook without ever being taught. If you were any more inbred you'd be a sandwich
Laeffy 19
How hard is it to learn how to cook from youtube videos or online recipes? Not saying this guy took it too far, but I do agree with him that everyone should know how to cook.
sasquatchius 3
Cooking is one of life's basic skills, if you can't do it you're either disabled, or a useless human being.
sasquatchius 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cooking is one of life's basic skills, if you can't do it you're either disabled, or a useless human being.
Indianboy9321 25
Third times NOT the charm in your case.
species4872 20
I was warned about people like you.
eagleriverjohn 24
Maybe try teaching him a few cooking basics to avoid this in the future.
MisstressNicole 20
I've had to teach my husband a thing or two in the kitchen. Cooking is a basic survival skill and it's the parent who should teach it. If you send and adult child into the world with out the presence of mind to boil an egg you failed at parenting.
Cynical_1 26
Ignorance can be fixed...but I'm sorry to say that stupid is forever.
MisstressNicole 20
cooking is a basic survival skill and it's the parent who should teach their child to cook. I taught my husband a few things in the kitchen because I wanted a house to come back to everyday. As a parent if you send an adult child into the world with out the presence of mind to boil an egg you failed at parenting.
CrazyJolteon 0
If your in such a hurry, DONT ******* BOIL THEM
mbackus123 2
Surely that just means they will take a little longer?
Kpotassium 4
w-wha~ what even