Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Today, everyone thought that I was the one who farted in the lift. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML
Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML
Today, while standing in line at the store, I thought I could let a small fart slip and blame it on the guy behind me. I did it, then turned to glare at him in disgust, only for him to turn and yell at the crowd, “This bitch farted, not me!” FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, while at the grocery store an elderly woman farted very loudly next to me. Everyone in the aisle looked our way. The woman pointed at me, and left the aisle. I received many disgusted looks from children and their parents. FML
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Top comments
Cainicide 5
"What the **** you looking at?!" People will stop staring, and big guys are intimidating.
ICastillo 25
Well Op since everyone is already blaming you might as well let them go. Bombs away.
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Comments (62)
redmonkey224539 9
Day feels
Sarah123321 4
That stinks! Bad pun, i know. Shut up:(
AliceLockehart 18
Reading this made me giggle like a little girl cause I pictured my Dad doing that.. Your Dad sounds awesome :)
The_F3rris 11
Thats why when you have to fart you go stand behind larger people. Its a great cover.
mandyville 8
Was it you though lol
AriSwagg 9
Awe :(
lng0004 2
You can always say "**** whoever just farted".
nuggetman213 0
Well at least big guys are better to snuggle with >(^.^)>
pinkpanther61789 15
You could always just blame the person who falls asleep in class
crispy76 10
stop being fat