Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to take a selfie with a squirrel and it bit me. FML
Today, I tried meditating at the park to “be more mindful.” Right as I closed my eyes, a squirrel jumped onto my leg, causing me to scream loud enough to scare a nearby jogger, who then tripped over his own feet. I apologized while shaking uncontrollably. FML
Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML
Today, I took my dog for a walk in the park. I was enjoying the fresh air until my dog spotted a squirrel and took off running. I ended up getting dragged through the mud and had to walk home covered in dirt and scratches. FML
Today, I swerved out of the way to avoid hitting a squirrel, and in the process hit another squirrel. FML
Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML
Today, I tried to pet a squirrel because it looked friendly. It did not feel the same way. Now I’m googling things like, "Can squirrels give you rabies?" FML
Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML
Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
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Top comments
Qwertyuiip 0
Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.
IBelongToJeebus 0
How the hell did it fall down your shirt?
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Comments (141)
ICATiger 13
Smart squirrel
beccac_boresfoff 9
If you're a girl, I feel bad for you...
muhaidib 2
OP is lucky it didn't fall down his pants and the squirrel didn't feed on his nuts...
doctorwhogirl 0
so you got attcked by a tree rodent and to make yourself seem manly( if you are Indeed a boy) you had to make the squirrel a su
doctorwhogirl 0
whoops by mistake sent that- I meant you had to make the squirrel into some sort of super hulk squirrel to save you dignity :D because I doubt it was as big as you're saying it was
_Oblivion_ 12
Have any of you seen two squirrals fight? I certainly would not like to be attacked by a caffine high rodent
GoW_Chick 15
It was arnold swertzasquirrel ... Anyone? No? Damn that was stupid.
Samanthamkellyxo 2
Ouch...
gojira666 7
Ydi...that activity is strictly prohibited to anyone under 75 years of age
eyeIoveyou 4
51 - if OP were 75 or older, wouldn't that be worst? lolol
Trollzaya 6
59 - how would that be worse, my granny loves being attacked by squirrels >.>
The_Weirdo 10
Hammy just wanted his nuts.
GoW_Chick 15
Since my first post was a fail how about some of these Rocky bolsquirrela Jean Claude Van Squirrel Mark Squirrelberg *buda-dum-dum* Worth a try.
blanquito 1
At least 41/70 knew her jokes were stupid before she posted them..
FunnyGuy5051 7
it's okay 70 girls like you aren't judged by smarts or being funny
KittySaysMoo 6
I'd go nuts.
ropeandneck 7
schwartzesquirrel. it was ****** arnold schwartzesquirrel. we're doomed.
Qwertyuiip 0
Tell that son of a bitch who's boss.
SecretMe00 5
Ya...... Ok
ohmylanta22 5
This is such a fake. Squirrels don't attack people for food.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Squirrels attacking people? The end is truely on its way. Brace yourselves, for rabbit swarms are next!
AlaskanEskimo34 0
Did it get your nuts?
G0v3nat0r 7
You know it doesn't say if OP is a girl or a guy. If OP is a girl, the squirrel just wanted to motor boat.
javierrrrm 12
You Dont Say?
lovexbox 8
You just had to feed it your nuts now didn't you?
EverBrighter 0
Nobody likes roasted nuts.
The_Plagiarizer 4
I'm pretty sure that OP isn't right in the head if he/she were giving out free nuts. Sell that shit for good money!
IBelongToJeebus 0
How the hell did it fall down your shirt?
Theorangevamp 1
He was looking for a good tims
bitchwhore 20
They worded it badly... I thought a squirrel fell down OP's shirt but it was a nut that did.
xStaciexLynnx 15
I think most people realize it was a nut that fell down OP's shirt. We just don't know how that happened since (s)he'd most likely be reaching out or throwing them away from their body.
graham11 14
40- no idiot. A squirrel did not fall down OP's shirt. Yeah it fell from a tree and just happened to hit the target and landed down OP's collar. *face palm*
secrono 0
if ur a guy i understand if your a girl..... MOTOR BOAT BITCHES!!! why would the squirrel freak?????
LightningCactus 12
The ****?
ast3150 13
Maybe it was nuts?
NStarB 13
The squirrel just tripled the nuts ;)
nhewitt02 6
Hey I see what you did there haha
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Squirrels, nuts, steroids and going down shirts?......Naw to easy, I'm off!
IBelongToJeebus 0
too*! Har har har! Grammar Nazi is back!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Grammatical Nazi*
IKickPuppiesHard 16
Oh you must not know, I give zero *****. Take your ass to a spelling bee and tell someone who cares.
graham11 14
33- seriously?
fancyclown 9
Teach me your ways, oh great booby squirrel.
notsorandomguy 18
Hope it didn't try to eat your nuts (bad pun definitely intended)
StoryOfTheYear 15
First sentence sounds like OP is teabagging the squirrels. ._.
ThatLooksSticky 16
That visual makes me want to go to the park right now.