Today, I learned that my mother almost did a perfect job being a parent when I was a baby. She was clean during the 9 month period I was in the womb. Unfortunately, she stopped right after giving birth to me, celebrated, and started smoking again. I was breastfed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while driving me to the hospital because I was having an asthma attack, my mother lit a cigarette. FML
Today, I was having a cigarette in a smoking area when a mother with a pram strode towards me and exaggerated a cough to make some sort of point. Reluctantly, I put it out and walked off. I then turned around to see her lighting up a cigarette, and blowing smoke all over her baby. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "After I eat" or maybe even "When I'm tired." What I got was "Every second since you were born." FML
Today, my mom came home heavily drunk. As I was taking care of her, she told me all about how I was a mistake. That didn't hurt nearly as much as when she told me she wishes I'd died during her pregnancy. FML
Today, my future mother-in-law told me she thought I was severely allergic to cigarette smoke. That hasn't stopped her from chain-smoking around me for the last 3 years. FML
Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML
Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML
Today, I overheard my mom, who quit smoking years ago, saying that I am the only person who stresses her out badly enough to want to smoke a cigarette. I have never once tried to stress her out, and in fact I do everything I can to make her life easier. She works in retail. FML
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Top comments
randybryant799 21
I think you'll be ok.
Marcella1016 32
Fuuuuuuck I cannot imagine smoking 2 packs a day. At my peak, I smoked maybe a pack a month. 2 packs a DAY?? 40 cigarettes over about 16 waking hours, in between whatever else you do - working, cooking, driving, showering, etc. I just can’t fathom it. Crazy thing though I grew up in the 90s when it wasn’t quite as taboo yet and I had an aunt who chain smoked. To this day, the smell of old cigarettes in furniture and carpets is soothing as hell to me for some reason. I jumped into my friend’s car one day recently and told her the cigarette smell was “amazing” and she couldn’t understand that I was being serious and not critical lol
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Comments (6)
randybryant799 21
I think you'll be ok.
mike3775 39
I am 46, and my mom didn’t even know she was pregnant with me until she was 7 months pregnant, and she smoked 2 packs a day. I turned out ok.
Marcella1016 32
Fuuuuuuck I cannot imagine smoking 2 packs a day. At my peak, I smoked maybe a pack a month. 2 packs a DAY?? 40 cigarettes over about 16 waking hours, in between whatever else you do - working, cooking, driving, showering, etc. I just can’t fathom it. Crazy thing though I grew up in the 90s when it wasn’t quite as taboo yet and I had an aunt who chain smoked. To this day, the smell of old cigarettes in furniture and carpets is soothing as hell to me for some reason. I jumped into my friend’s car one day recently and told her the cigarette smell was “amazing” and she couldn’t understand that I was being serious and not critical lol
dragonladiesfire 19
Right? It's an interesting coping mechanism. I do the same thing. Most of everyone in the 90s smoked in houses sooo its easy to associate the smell of cigarette smoke as a soothing smell. 😌
benjamn 24
Should have been born in the mid 20th century, we made it.
RichardPencil 32
Did she use your fontanelle as an ashtray?