Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
Just stay outside with your dog, sounds much cleaner.
lajaynay 15
When my Corgi was a puppy, I'd stay outside with him until he did his business. Walking them rather than just letting them play tends to get it done quicker. After the fourth time though, you deserved it.
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Comments (85)
mosquito19 14
its a puppy, how long did it take you to learn not to shit your pants?
ThePrestige 12
It just might be karma,what if you have done the same in a parallel universe. o.0
False_Stupidity 42
She may have worms take her to the vet
Lillzkog 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't understand why you got this many thumbs down, i thought it was hillarious!
gymnastsoph 0
You clearly don't understand what puppies r like
perdix 31
She's establishing dominance at your house. Although she is a tiny female dog, she's making you the little bitch of the pack. Stay outside as long as it takes and praise her lavishly when she ***** outside. Scold her when she ***** inside. It's a dog's nature to want to please its master. If you let her be the master, she'll shit wherever she likes. Anyone seen my sunglasses?
Ajwc101 24
I have your sunglasses, you forgot them at the coffee shop. :)
lizabeth7 1
Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually they'll figure it out..
coolbrony12 3
That's a real shituation.
gc327072 31
Props to you for making a completely original pun about shit, instead of saying "LOLOL that's a shitty situation X-D!" Well done indeed.
Mideoyeo 12
Its because people are jealous of how cool Noor is and they wish they could post something hilarious!~
perdix 31
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. They didn't make up a line for "four times," but I'm pretty sure it should involve giving the puppy up and getting a Tamagotchi.