Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML
Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
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Top comments
mclauren29 22
Just stay outside with your dog, sounds much cleaner.
lajaynay 15
When my Corgi was a puppy, I'd stay outside with him until he did his business. Walking them rather than just letting them play tends to get it done quicker. After the fourth time though, you deserved it.
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Comments (85)
nissan31 2
That's why I don't have a dog
bankrupt 15
Right there with you, No. 105. Life is too short to be chained to your house because of a dog's shit-and-piss schedule and then have to watch the dog shit and piss and then praise the dog for ******** and pissing or walk the dog so it can sniff the shit and piss of other dogs. Forget it. At the end of my life I want to say that I did more than monitor a dog's asshole.
Mifflicious 18
Chained to your house? Do you think you have to watch your dog for YEARS before it gets housetrained? I bet you wont have too much to talk about at the end of your life since you doesn't seem to know too much or want to do anything that takes the slightest effort.
fthku 13
That was one of the dumbest things I ever read, #109.
fuzz97 23
Oh, I get it. Even so, it's a bit of a stretch
Psychology_13 8
it's even worse when the dog is 3, wants back inside, then *****.
SBCR_fml 6
Go buy canned pumpkin and give her 1-2 spoon fulls every meal. It takes care of diarrhea
greasygoafer 10
that's what puppies do!! i had to bottle feed my pup from 2 weeks old, they can't be house broken that young, she pooped everywhere!!
brightaylar 4
This happens with my puppy more than you think. She's 9 months
cityandcolourx33 0
Don't change her food. She's just like a baby; it'll make her tummy upset. Don't feed her table scraps and see if it goes away. My one st. Bernard's eats table scraps but it make the other ones tummy upset
FATTY_MCDOOGLE 29
That sucks.
pheonix_flash 7
Thats puppies for ya :/
pheonix_flash 7
Thats a puppy for you... It takes time for pupoies to learn to do their business outside.