Today, I realized my sleepwalking habit has reached new heights. How? I woke up in the bathroom. On a plane headed to California. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I sleepwalk. How you might ask? By awakening the moment just before I fell from the stairs. I was better off sleeping. FML
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML
Today, I woke up in a complete daze. It took me a few minutes to realize what had happened. Apparently my sleepwalking problems have returned, only this time I managed to overdose myself with Nyquil. As a result, I slept for fourteen hours, wet my sheets, and lost my job. FML
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I was on a plane flying home and fell asleep. I woke up to my own snoring and everyone on the plane looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
So you're the asshole who prevented me and the hot redhead in 36D from joining the Mile High Club. How is it fair that you snoozed, but I lost?
RichardPencil 32
TSA was vigilant enough to confiscate two tubs of cheese spread from my carry-on bag because it was not solid enough, yet they didn’t notice a zombie boarding the plane? How’s this fair?!?!!
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Comments (29)
ViviMage 40
Wow, I thought the worst thing I did was sleep ordering a pair of halogen headlights on eBay for a cat I don't have!
bl3ur0z3 17
Glad you don't have a cat. I don't think they'd like the halogen headlights.
Mungolikecandy 19
I want to see the light in the eyes of that cat!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Be glad you didn’t order the Cat. Wake up to a 900,000 dollar charge, and a D9 that’s bigger than your yard.
jen_jalapeno 10
OP probably fell asleep when he was already on the plane
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
i believe you should fit yourself with a spy camera and see a sleep doctor
pscool 11
You better state Kevin Mccallistering the hell out of your bedroom door, buckets of water and all. MacGyver up some dog static shock pads for the handle and a drive motion decorated hooked up to airhorn. Then as stated before definitely seek me medical treatment and mental health services ASAP!
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
That's just your hody telling you that you need a vacation...
Mungolikecandy 19
That is not so much sleepwalking as a serious fugue state if you can function to the point of buying a ticket and getting through security onto the plane.
frostydevil 7
I mean ive woken up f*ucking my GF but your on a whole new level of shit
real life problems 26
You can use my basement for when you decide to form Fight Club.
tipsyone 22
This is impossible
Suaria 38
This doesn't seem very plausible. How did you not wake up buying a plane ticket, getting to the airport, going through TSA, and then boarding a plane? Were you already on the plane when you fell asleep and woke up in the bathroom? It may be possible you are experiencing a dissociative disorder which you should get checked out by a therapist. I think OP you should do a follow up on this.
PenguinPal3017 19
Some people do this stuff while sleepwalking. It is unusual but very much possible.