Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML
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Top comments
bieoe 0
**** everyone who's insulting the OP's parenting. Unless the OP abuses alcohol (there is no solid indication she does), there's nothing wrong with her parenting. The daughter is underage, the OP is not.
greenltrn2003 0
your parenting=awesome
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Comments (89)
jonny2x4 0
This isn't wine. This is Jesus juice. It's for grownups only. Now don't let me catch you drinking.
jeniilouise 0
LOL!
mikk 3
one glass of wine=good. One or two bottles of wine every day=bad. So there is no problem if you teach to drink wisely with a glass of wine in your hand.
rachelbrianna25 0
wow...
erraton 0
ma ARMASTAN eesti rahvast :D
kile88 2
you just ruined your credibility if I was her I wouldn't take you seriously at all. ever. that's what you get for trying to be all righteous
Lardothefox 6
Sounds like something my parents would do.
tigerg33 0
lmao way to be mom. my italian grandma has a glass of red wine a day, in italy your allowed to have wine with the family at dinner around 16 yrs old. needless to say when i visit grandma i know im gonna have a good time :)
cactusitude 0
i hate it when my parents do that xD you may be legally allowed to drink, but you shouldnt do the whole "do as i say, not as i do" thing. she wont respect you.
cactusitude 0
i hate it when my parents do that xD you may be legally allowed to drink, but you shouldnt do the whole "do as i say, not as i do" thing. she wont respect you.
grinchgirl 0
Kids learn by example. Enjoying one glass of wine responsibly as an adult shows the teen that alcohol can be fine. Give yourself a break, it's not like you were slugging back shots of tequila