Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML
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Top comments
bieoe 0
**** everyone who's insulting the OP's parenting. Unless the OP abuses alcohol (there is no solid indication she does), there's nothing wrong with her parenting. The daughter is underage, the OP is not.
greenltrn2003 0
your parenting=awesome
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Comments (89)
PhillyFox 0
How is this bad? An adult enjoying a glass of wine is much different than a minor drinking illegally. It's not like the OP was drunk when she was lecturing.
perdix 31
I wish I were a fly on the wall when you have the sex talk.
FerrariCake 2
This is what that alcohol talk really is about: . Mom: "Don't drink alcohol because it'll make you want to have sex with boys." . Daughter: "I already want to have sex with boys." . Mom: "Oh... well, just don't drink alcohol. At least you'll be sober when you have sex and you won't puke."
cryssycakesx3 23
*possibly ugly boys.
MLSxxox 3
Well I'm assuming you werent blind drunk when you were lecturing your daughter, so I think you'll be alright. Just remind her that shes underage, and youre not.
jw90 18
what u should do is go out and get her really plastered then leave her to walk home. she if she wants to do it then..nah I'm jk lol I wouldn't want her to get raped. just keep doing what ur doing and don't mind drinking while talking to her. you're the parent rite.
hot_mess88 0
I'm sorry, OP, but I got very similar lectures from my parents when I was a teenager, and they pissed me off. My dad would be sitting on the porch, cigarette in mouth, beer in hand, and look at me, saying, "If I ever catch you smoking or drinking, I'll kill you." The hypocrisy of it all was ridiculous. And it didn't stop me from doing it. I've been drinking since I was 15 and started smoking when I was 19. So, I recommend that you not waste your breath telling not to drink alcohol, but tell her that if she does, then you're going to be very disappointed in her. Even pigheaded teenagers don't like to disappoint their parents. However, I'm gonna have to call this a YDI.
cryssycakesx3 23
they're adults, they're allowed. you were not.
laughing_zebra 0
How is this an FML? You were telling her not to drink. You are an adult, you are ALLOWED to drink. Not an FML. Not even a problem
V_GEHTS 0
Do as I say, not as I do.
usernamejoe 0
http://listenpleasechildplease.blogspot.com/ Chad OchoCinco
invisiblerabbit 0
get off fml you stupid bitch and pay attention to your daughter!