Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML
Today, my child's kindergarten teacher told me that my child said, "My mom drinks wine and lays down." I don't drink alcohol, although at times I drink juice in a wine glass. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm an alcoholic. FML
Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML
Today, I caught my 14-year-old daughter stealing alcohol from me. After berating her for half-an-hour I finally said, "At least you're not doing drugs." She gave me a guilty smile and sheepishly said, "At least I'm not a prostitute?" FML
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, my drunken mother told me I'm just like my father and that I don't give a fuck about her. She's living in my home and drinking my wine. FML
Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML
Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML
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Top comments
bieoe 0
**** everyone who's insulting the OP's parenting. Unless the OP abuses alcohol (there is no solid indication she does), there's nothing wrong with her parenting. The daughter is underage, the OP is not.
greenltrn2003 0
your parenting=awesome
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Comments (89)
BadLuckBub 0
Now you sound like my mother. I will say, chances are the message got through. At least if she looks at you the way I look at my mother when's she been drinking..
rainmanmatt 3
drinking is great you dump rats ass fucktydo
cryssycakesx3 23
if you're going to throw out totally vapid insults, (which I'm sure you thought was exceptionally brilliant,) at least spell dumb* correctly. B and P aren't even close to each other.
Cookiemjnw 0
lol that's ******* funny
highsheep 0
YDI, hypocrite .
Miss_lunatic 8
Timing is everything! (:
wilbur1979 0
I've got to be honest 90% of the people who comment on these posts are so anal, I mean there is nothing wrong with this fml, it's quite funny. some people need to grow up, I guess that's the problem, a little bit of moral education spanning over 15 or so years. thumbs up to this, get up to some council estate up north and see what it's like to really live
ilaaFML 0
haah love, she probably didnt even notice the wine glass, she was probably thinking, ohh shitt, did she find out about last friday? ;)
just_laugh_along 0
Appearently one of the effects of alcohol is not realizing you're holding a wine glass.
skylarbee 8
so? your an adult you can drink if you want.
kittea86 0
hello ppl she is of drinking age and is allowed to have an occasional glass. the kid is underage.. huge f'ing difference