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Anonymous This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff United States

Inner voice

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

148

Collection

Fall

Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.

Top comments

ragsy 7

Hysterical!

snowboarder1417 2

Seems like your brain didn't turn on, let alone a filter

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Comments (148)

fishertruck 0

lmao wow fyl

iKaite 0

This is possibly my favourite FML of all time. I can really imagine your grandmothers face, probably summed up best by the emoticon ._.? Looks like your out the will, blud.

MissMel_xo 0

hahaha. I've done that.

Schizomaniac 24

You've told your grandmother that your cousin's newborn baby's seizures are not seizures, but rather the result of being shaken? Hm. Small world.

Sprinkle_Donuts 1

Lmao that was a good one to bad she said it in a serious moment

suppressed08 2

'my verbal filter did not switch on in time' I think this is going to be phrase of the week.

Stupified 0

Ydi for joking about shit like that or even thinking it's funny. Dead/sick/abused babies aren't funny. 

Schizomaniac 24

59, one of us is misunderstanding, because I'm not seeing that the OP was joking about anything.

rockhound 0

yeah, I'm callin bullshit 51. I doubt you've done what OP did.

starile 20

Hahaha You're clever!

smdbeeach 0

lol i dont get this fml -___-

quite_bored 9

55; No, she's saying it's not shaking from seizures, it's shaking from her grandmother shaking it. Idiot.

Schizomaniac 24

73, you're not very bright, are you?

Krajjan 9

You, OP, had a George Carlin moment. One of those special moments in life where hilarious honesty overrides your brain-to-mouth filter and creates epic conditions. Congratulations.

MrFerret 0

Jesus Christ ppl it's just a joke. My father did that to me and I turned out to be the only non retard in my family.

itz_scrumdidly 0

hey 59 have you ever heard any dead baby jokes? they're awesome you should look some up

seanders 10

Know what's harder than nailing dead babies to a fence? My dick while I'm doing it

alliewillie 22

Krajjan, your tattoo looks crooked. OP, that's horrible/hilarious. thumbs up for quick wit.

bigblue95 0

lmao 75

krissy8877 2

how can you joke about something like that. you can tell the differsence and not everyone shakes

mak3_1t_ra1n 0

lol! this is probably top 5 worst slip I've ever heard!

Specterk50 0

#98 lmao...so bad yet so funny

Mehness 0

98 I feel terrible for laughing so hard at that XD

Jessi2487 0

i dont get this.... is OP implying that the parents are abusing the baby?? or was this some sick sex joke or statement tht completely went over my head?? BTW::: dont judge me... i kno im not normal, at least thats what the voices in my head tell me

FreeRunn3r 12

lolololololololololo

llppjhddt 0

no but ur face is ******* hilarios

Renee1992 6

no, I really don't think they are

claiiire_fml 17

98- That's horrible lol, but I laughed my ass off. Congrats(:

KRYPTON1T3 5

58, I'm using that every time I say something wrong. thanks op!

Lisha_B 5

lmao! nice!

mthurston 14

Shook a baby? Or made a dumb response to something? If it's the 2nd one the me too lol

tiptoppc 21

My brother which almost lost his twin daughters in a NICU has a morbid sense of humor like the rest of the family. He told dead baby jokes as a way of dealing with it. Not everyone finds humor, even morbid offensive. I use morbid humor to cope myself. And I just survived a brush with death yesterday, so I’m already using jokes about what i went through to cope. Learning to expand your world, and don’t be so closed minded.

tiptoppc 21

It made me smile. And I needed it today!

lovesteph3523 0

think before you speak

pooponyuou 0

maybe the cousin has a reputation for being rough?

vballer123456 0

yeah really think before you speak that's awful unless you have seen the abuse and are talking through experience

pcakewafflebacon 0

grow some tact. you are simply an asshole for saying anything like that in the first place

ThereIsNoFork 0

Think twice. Act once.

Chrisskiies 0

obviously op doesnt

liller90 0

2 has gorgeous eyes.

yourlifesfucked 0

maybe op has adhd? you know its hard as hell to control some of those impulses. cant really blame them for not thinking before they speak if this is the case.

AliceOfLegend 0

some people actually can't. not always that easy

surfergreeneyes 0

2 does have gorgeous eyes!! 8D

Gamergal 0

It's very hard to use a verbal filter with ADHD XD

may651 14

Not her. Lol

ragsy 7

Hysterical!

dallyy 0

that's hilarious ! :D

ceeceecupcake 0

i don't get it?

suppressed08 2

well the cousins baby is having seizures, which can be a pretty serious medical condition. The OP didn't think to stop themselves from making a joke (which can be 'pictured' as someone shaking the baby, or a sex joke.)

ThatLooksSticky 16

how do you NOT get it?

shaneac 0

The OP is making a bad joke, implying that the cousin shakes their baby.

Eroe 0

I love your mustache, sir.

toothache 0

128 what the hell?

icexcrystalxeyes 0

128- lmfao. that was funny.

C6Racer 0

Might be time to upgrade your filter.

seldom66 16

I completely agree

sunnydale_fml 0

wow that sux

mintcar 10

Hahaha okay, I should stop laughing.

laxdude21 0

wats ur number

mintcar 10

123-456-789. No really, it is.

banananut 0

i don't get it..

mattman1994 0

Its called SBS, or Shaken Baby Syndrome. Children become disabled because their mothers violently shake them and jostle them when they are infants causing whiplash and brain damage. No, sadly I'm not being sarcastic

Kesler_17 0

Or fathers, or baby-sitters, or a grand-parent, or an aunt, or an uncle, etc, etc, etc. Why are you limiting this to just mothers?

banananut 0

i...still don't get it. what does the baby having seizures have to do with anyone shaking him?

mattman1994 0

Sorry 22 I misspoke... or mistyped... or whatever

ChubbyCake 5

That is sad OP. :[

purplemnm 9

banananut, brain damage = seizures

goodnesspeople 1

because when someone is having a seizure they shake, when someone is being shaken they are also shaking. OP is saying that the baby's not having seizures but someone is shaking them in instead and calling it a seizure. Explaining the joke takes all of the fun(ny) out of it.

M16a2 0

A SEIZURE IS WHEN YOU START SHAKING YOU STUPID BITCH! and the joke is that OP said it's not a seizure if you are shaking the baby.

white_rainbow 0

@ #80 Lmao, I swear to god your comment made me laugh so hard tears came out of my eyes!

krissy8877 2

a lot of people think that shakeing Is the only kind of sezure. but there are tons of different kinds. I've never shook

bad_chiquita 5

now, now let's not be mean. obvi banananut was shaken as a baby. most likely hard and repeatedly.

cabbitt 0

And by verbal filter, the OP thought it and spoke it out loud instead of keeping it to herself.

Gadomski87 2

Wooow

orannis 0

holy shit dude, awesome.

ninja_ness 3

LOL nice xD