Today, I asked my science teacher if he'd had my mom when she went to my high school. He took one look at me, glared, and said, "Oh yeah, I remember HER." I have that class every day the rest of the year. Thanks a lot, Mom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my little cousin's school to pick her up and it happened to be my old elementary school. I saw my old teacher and went up to say hi, and after a few minutes she goes "Aren't you the girl who's dad always came in drunk on parent's day?" Nice to know that's how I'm remembered. FML
Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML
Today, I attended my high school reunion and was feeling good about the gym progress I’d made. Looking fabulous, I was ready to relive my glory days when I got into a conversation with someone I didn’t recognize. He had to remind me that we were in the same chemistry class for two years. I had no idea who he was. FML
Today, I ran into an old student of mine at the grocery store. She didn't recognize me at first so I introduced myself as her old teacher. She looked taken aback for a moment, and then said, "Oh my God... you're still alive?" FML
Today, my obsession with replying "Your Mom" reached a new level when my anatomy teacher asked what I'd done with my pencil. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been seeing my maths teacher. I'm still failing his class. FML
Today, I was showing my hair-do from my high school prom from 10 years ago to a drunk neighbor. He turned to my mom and said, "Wow, she was a beautiful girl back in the day." Right in front of me. FML
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
See this as an opportunity. You can get all the dirt on her from when she was your age and compare that to any complaints she has about you. 😄 Though half my rules as a parent are because I know the shit I’d do.
JaneSimple 28
Maybe he was just messing you! I hope!
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Comments (2)
Bogrbon 27
See this as an opportunity. You can get all the dirt on her from when she was your age and compare that to any complaints she has about you. 😄 Though half my rules as a parent are because I know the shit I’d do.
JaneSimple 28
Maybe he was just messing you! I hope!