Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
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Top comments
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
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Comments (191)
The_Creeper_fml 8
I don't see any problem here. I would throw things at my little belter when he was ahead of me at Mario Kart.
lucy_lue 9
Your what?
TheDrudgeChild 4
"Little belter" sounds kinky.
challan 19
Your little belter is able to use a controller? You should call Op! She's in need of your skills.
The_Creeper_fml 8
It should say brother, but I think Autocorrect may have made that sentence better.
challan 19
It did! You should have went with it. Imagine all the hmu comments that you would have gotten!
WaywardDaughter 26
Typical male...u only care when u get off
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yo, The_Creeper. Let's see how your little belter is good against an expert of Mario Kart. Let's meet up sometime.
theevilduchess 12
Well then teach him to lose with dignity. Refuse to put out until he gets his mind right.
ThatGirl6 9
I totally agree with you (:
deusbag 5
Was winning worth it? Doesn't matter had sex
lucy_lue 9
Yeah. Bad sex.
tdunc34 2
"doesn't matter still counts"
challan 19
Why are men so bad at sex and driving? Because they pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.
deusbag 5
Lol
pagullarka 9
Well just like some women have a perfect spot but would not let you pull in there because they're too tired or I need to wake up early excuse, because when I pull into a spot I will be in there for a while :)
mrdumpalot31 0
Girls are actually the bad drivers thier isn't one girl ik that can drive good, idk where u got that one from
josephhaynes1990 1
86, thank you for not making things look better for males.
challan 19
91- you I like!
challan 19
I wonder why FML deleted those other comments?
betterdaysahead 14
lol omg
retardslo 0
Yes that's why women have a higher crash rate.
Quidikic 9
Bro, men are good drivers, don't be dissing me homie. Alright gangster mode off. But yea, the sex part, ehhh, I agree.
purplemonkeys23 1
I wanted to inform you that I found your joke oddly funny, and that I created an account just to thumb it up. Nice going, bud :p
challan 19
179- wow thanks! :)
Jewnut 0
then you should do the same
xmogyx 0
How do you end up with someone this dull. Great idea, secretly make your wife unsatisfied in bed so she'll slowly end up wanting less and less sex. Yeah, great plan idiot.
meatmaeta 21
Is this how you make your wife/SO cheat on you?
tony1891 22
No bs when it comes to Mario. but getting short changed on sex is a little harsh.
lyssa_jean 7
Haha love your pic:D
lfrye 6
Bitches gotta learn
poohappens26 0
Omg lmao
sunshine1077 3
Play dirty while playing Mario.....he might rethink his method.