Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
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Top comments
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
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Comments (191)
kaymi 17
Next time he finishes first in bed, just yell out "Paaaassssttttaaaaa Saaaauuucccee!". Maybe he will feel like he finally won in the game. Lol
SephoraGypsy 15
I don't like the tween, the fact she keeps coming back for more astounds me. But that doesn't excuse the fact that she gets hammered, when some other nitwit will reply with the same comment and get given less of a beating.
LadyGore 12
And this is where you inform him that you just bought a vibrator and are no longer in need for his sexual favors. (;
william8691 10
Bet you won't beat him now will you. Power of the penis wins again!!!
MassaKerr 9
You think mario kart is a motherfucking game?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes, it even has the Official Nintendo Seal. Are you telling me I was wrong this whole time?
mhopper 13
You should wake him up with a lotionless handjob ;)
xstream 5
what is wrong with a lotionless handjob? in all the years since well let's say i came of age i never had any problems with that
THE_A_TEEN 28
Seriously, all of you need to calm down. I'm not in favor of a lot of people here, but the hate for her is getting out of hand. You're all overreacting and being harsh on her. theevilduchess, yes I remember. Unfortunately, things change overtime.
Hardwaregeek 0
Hmm purposefully?
Dracoboxer357 36
I agree with Sephora, Kayla seems to get bitch slapped pretty hard for stating what many of us were thinking, she just didn't jazz it up much, but she isn't a negative commenter in general, so I try to offset her downward votes. And 68- Can't get Anyone off, and Choosing not to are two different statements. She's 14, maybe she is, maybe she isn't, either way, I'm happier not knowing. She still seemed to understand the concept of satisfying the needs of others, so chill a bit, okay? :p And personally, I admire the fact she keeps coming back for more.. ;)
derkster 6
You have to take Mario Kart seriously...:p