Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
Today, my husband and son ganged up on me in a game of Mario Kart. I threw the game down and stormed off. The last thing I saw was them high-fiving and yelling "RAGE QUIT" and laughing hysterically. They will both suffer for this. FML
Today, my husband decided he'd rather jerk off to the Wii Fit trainer than have sex with me. FML
Today, my husband told me that he is done having sex because it eats up his online gaming time. FML
Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML
Today, I beat my boyfriend at chess, whilst also doing my homework and cooking dinner, and he got upset about it. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
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Top comments
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
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Comments (191)
Evenzzon 1
Well he need to beat you at something;) either you lose at Mario cart or live without an ****** for the rest of your life;D fyl
A83_fml 18
Hit him with a blue shell.
lonkite101 14
Ummm sketch
Evenzzon 1
Not as intimate tho:P
DogsPaw 16
Well if he is finishing early I don't think she is getting much intimacy anyways.
MDTeddy 13
She has a right to be good at Mario Kart.
LennyComa 39
Blue Shells are the bane of every Mario Kart Player...Always keep a Invinceability Star just in Case....damn blue shells
Il_Maestro 6
He's just using too many speed mushrooms in bed
KeyboardWarrior 10
Actually 105, if you use the mushroom the VERY SECOND the blue shell swoops down, you'll speed out of the way and dodge it. Yes, I'm sort of a nerd when it comes to these things, been playing Mario Kart since Nintendo64.
tjv3 10
Well to quote the move White men can't jump: sometimes when you win, you actually lose.
jatoraichu123 3
Ditto
888pickles888 4
Damn....your husband needs to get a life
littletinyME 5
Consequences come with skill.
jackassiddy 8
And consequently her skills prevent her from coming..
raaawwwrrZ 8
Wait... A woman did well in a driving game? Am I the only one confused about that?
DrDilllonReese 12
I'm baffled as well. Soon men will be winning in cooking games..
LunaBee3105 3
hahaha great timing
liindsey 25
Your husband sounds very immature.
Alwayspullout 7
I think you meant to say awesome...
raaawwwrrZ 8
3- you don't say
HannahMarshall 6
Mario Kart is a serious game.
KiddNYC1O 22
So is Mario Party. Ah, the '64 era... Good old times.
littletinyME 5
Mario Party 6 got me and my brothers hating each other. :) Good times.
karmicsamadi86 9
Yes, yes it is
KiddNYC1O 22
36- My cousins. Argh!! Lol.
thebeautybleeds 17
This is why my boyfriend play Mario kart double dash and are always on a team in Mario party. :3
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
My bro just hated being beaten, so one time he actually took the wii and smashed it on the hardwood. I laughed my ass off when my mom came down, screaming. Ah, I love you James XD
jackassiddy 8
So he needs to finish first so he will stop finishing first..
Shadowvoid 33
Wow. I see what you did there. Clever. *applause*
jackassiddy 8
*takes bow* *accepts roses*
KMtheDrummer 6
Wow, two hilarious comments for two. Props,
Torva_fml 16
Two for three, you ruined it.
TunechiXXL 0
167 - 3 outta 4 huh?
russfml 31
Lol, well he's a jerk off and I think you can one up him on that
ILoveEggnog 7
I didn't know it was legal to marry ten year olds.
TheDrudgeChild 4
Yes, because only children play video games. It's almost funny how people still think that.
Hozu 3
More like the OP's husband has the attitude of a 10-year old.
br0ccoli 15
My thoughts exactly.
shannonreneee 11
24, I don't think I know anyone who thinks video games are for kids. I think these days they are aimed for teenagers to adults.
Grimmerie 31
24 - hear that whooshing noise? It's the sound of 7's comment flying over your head.
Ashlee0715 8
Wow, immaturity much? I feel bad for you.
Ashlee0715 8
Really people? That IS immature and slightly stupid.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I think you should let him win. And then you win, and if you win everyone wins!
challan 19
Nope! She needs to keep kicking his ass and then **********. Win win for her! ;)
CallMeMcFeelii 14
No one wins when you have to ********** lol.
happle 21
51- You're doing it wrong.
williamh327 5
Good logic
BriBeHyper 2
Then let him win.
katcot99 11
One doesn't just let him win.
katcot99 11
Must you copy me?
ladyLALAA 29
94's comment was funnier anyway, sorry to burst your bubble!
Llama_Face89 34
96- someone had to improve your comment.
hclover 0
Marion kart is serious shit! You cant just let him win!!!•_.