Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend's sister tried to pull the dog jaw prank on me, accidentally biting my finger in the process. Now she's mad at me because her tooth got chipped when I pulled my hand back, completely disregarding the fact that my finger needed stitches from her bite. FML
Today, I'm finally recovering from surgery to fix my severe underbite, which included breaking my upper and lower jaw, forcing my teeth to line up properly, then pinning them until the bone healed. My wife can’t mentally cope, because I no longer look like the man she loves. She wants a divorce. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she's been avoiding kissing me lately. Apparently she had a dream that one of my teeth caught on her braces, and all of her teeth got pulled out like a string of pearls. It seems unlikely she will be un-scarred any time soon. FML
Today, I got the most action I've had in about 3 years when my dentist pressed her boobs against the top of my head to fill my cavities. I really need to get me a girlfriend. FML
Today, I had two of my wisdom teeth removed. One side of my face is completely swollen, and the other is normal. I feel like the elephant man. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML
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Top comments
viaaaaaa 22
Try not to think about how much she resembles a squirrel
WCARlover 35
When I had my wisdom teeth out I sent pictures for people to laugh at. She sounds like she needs to lighten up
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Comments (90)
yerrkiddingme 2
lol
gobiteme2 34
Look on the bright side OP you’re in the doghouse; hopefully it has a roof and sides. Things could be much worse you could have compared her to a squirrel or chipmunk. She could have given you the dagger eyes. You don’t want dagger eyes!
IceMan11 23
Sounds like your lady needs a sense of humour.
IceMan11 23
Some say laughter is the best medicine...
hardy24 9
Don't worry about it. She'll get over it and you'll both laugh about it later
LittleMissShadow 16
If I was her I'd be laughing at my squirrel-ness
KLuke2015 12
Serves you right.
teentee401 37
Wow. Learn to control yourself.
Smooth_Criminal 24
lol Nuts in her cheeks lmfao.
thatonetribute 31
Ydi for being a jerk to her when she needs support!