Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML
Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML
Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML
Today, I tried to walk past chuds fighting in the street so I could catch my bus, except that when the police were rounding everyone up, I was mistakenly collared as well. To make it worse, some of the chuds claimed I threw the first punch. I just wanted to catch my bus. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, whilst presenting a report to the head of my college, I was arrested by a police officer for assault. I was in a bar the night before and accidentally bumped into a local tough guy on the way to the toilet. I got punched in the face. The witnesses got our names mixed up. That'll look great on my CV. FML
Today, I got mugged at work. The sad thing is I'm a cop and was trying to catch the people who mugged me previously while off duty. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You don't choose Thug Life, Thug Life chooses you.
Dave_Davington 34
Don't lose hope yet. I hear Michael Jackson found a way to not look like a criminal. ...Alright, I'll show myself out.
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Comments (25)
PenguinPal3017 19
All you need to do is find this guy and catch him, then people will stop looking for him.
Nick Bornhoft 4
Josh Peck, is that you?
TheSminty1 17
Maybe get rid of the swastika on your forehead
quarterboy 7
Yo, just stop going to that bar.. Damit man
boopingsnoot 25
You may want to invest in a taser. Or move.
real life problems 26
Are you a black male between 4'6 and 6'8
Nadine 21
Amen.
Isamermaid 17
I don’t think it’s your style, it’s probably just your face.
blahblabbity 19
Josh Nichols???
Davros 12
Stab a few because they look like a rapist on a wanted poster you saw. The rest will leave you alone.
cdaspirit 15
Theater thug?