Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to come pick up her things, and while I waited I took a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML
Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML
Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML
Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML
Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML
Today, the police came to my door and told me about a woman who called the cops on me because she said that I had been following her in my car. We were on the highway. FML
Today, my mother showed up to pick something up from my house. I was sleeping and before I knew it she was in my bedroom, jumping on my bed, saying hi to my ex-girlfriend who she thought was with me. It wasn't my ex, and I doubt that girl will ever want to hang out again after that awkward morning. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mindwarp 4
He needs to give it arrest.
pradip 26
Gf : i'm coming to get my things OP: Ok, i'm taking a nap.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
PunkySpunky78 15
I wonder why they broke up The op doesn't tell me that
squidbilly4life 0
You obviously didn't think this thorough.. If you date an officers daughter, you don't dump her both YDI and FYL
noisebox 1
Cops are the worst, organized mafia in uniforms....who now feel the general public is the enemy. Tell them your cousin Marvin is a lawyer is wins cases against cops all the time. PS I had a cop yesterday give me two traffic ticket, he said I appeared to have a bad attitude, I told him " to be honest I don't likev cops"
HunterAlpha1 8
dating a cop's daughter can be a great asset, or your worst nightmare. looks like you busted on this one OP.
scifichic92 8
This girl should not be making two of her father's buddies go to get her stuff, unless you did something like hit her, then I would understand but you don't say anything about why you broke up. These guys are abusing their power, making it seem like you did something wrong. People break up, that should be nobody's business but yours and hers. That disgusts me that these officers think it is ok to intimidate you like that, I would report them. YDI
djazzy911 6
I sure as hell hope that your ex-girlfriends father didn't use the tax payer's money to do her damn errand for her.
arizona_vz 12
welll...thats pretty awkward...
Livesbeingf_ed 4
At least if you had sex, you could say you've "f*cked tha police."
Bludmagnus 13
Abuse of power by a police officer... naw.. never happens.
ChoolyBooly 32
I don't believe it is "legal" for them to do that. I hope you talked to whoever is above them. It can be considered harassment if they have no legal reason to "watch" you.