Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, after massive bouts of diarrhea, vomiting, and doctor visits lasting weeks, I finally got a diagnosis… from my puppy's vet. I got Giardia from my dog. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Jellybellybeanz 22
Go to the doctor. Now. Sorry OP :/
Mynamewontfi 40
Is your dad Captain Hindsight?
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Comments (78)
foxwasalamb 24
well shit. i know how much i love my dog and i wouldnt think to ask "hey does my dog have any diseases?" sorry op
Bekll 31
He should have told you BEFORE you came home... Not after some time you had spent with the dog.
oreyoes 15
what's a hookworm? Sorry idk :(
tencentsakiss 19
Maybe if you had your dog on a heartworm preventative like Iverheart max, you could have prevented hookworms in the first place.
martin8337 36
Got hooked up.
fillmore17 5
Well he also licks his balls so....probably not the greatest idea to let him lick your face anyway.
juledeyes 4
BAHAHHAHAHA!
megadki14 6
your dad should have known better and told you before you walked in the door.
ibanghellokitty 8
That must have ruined your morning, sorry to hear that op
kistilinoskipy 1
Just because the dog has hookworms and licks u doesnt mean unget them u have to come into contact with the feces to get them
AliciaMeow 12
Dogs eat shit. And lick their asses.