Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML
Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML
Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML
Today, I caught my dog drinking from the toilet. After yelling at him, his apology was licking my face. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to meet my parents. Everything was going fine until she said she owned a dog. My mom then immediately attempted to check her scalp for lice. FML
Today, after massive bouts of diarrhea, vomiting, and doctor visits lasting weeks, I finally got a diagnosis… from my puppy's vet. I got Giardia from my dog. FML
Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
Jellybellybeanz 22
Go to the doctor. Now. Sorry OP :/
Mynamewontfi 40
Is your dad Captain Hindsight?
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Comments (78)
joemud 13
Yuck
mybubbles2000 13
Thanks for the late breaking news Dad.
TrinityNevada 11
I'm with the people who wonder why you let a dog lick your face to begin with. I love animals, volunteer at the Humane Society and all that. I still wash my hands A LOT and would never eat or put my hands in my mouth after a dog licked them. I dont' know how many times I've had to pck up my food, get up, and wash my hands AGAIN before eating because my own dog wants to lick my hands or climb in my lap to "force" me to pet her while I'm trying to eat. PS It's not the food, she's fine about that. It's about the fact that I washed her scent off of me
xsydneyx123 28
At least your dog didn't lick the inside of a hot oven..
graceinsheepwear 34
Timing is everything.
alicat13 12
doc visit in the future?
yesnid 2
YDI Anyone who let's a dog lick their face without caring that's the same body part it uses to lick it's ass get what they get for not caring it's gross.
BlackFames 16
I can't think of anything to say other than that really ******* sucks.
mikaellikestacos 14
What are hookworms
sanecatlady 13
I've heard that a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's, but humans don't usually lick their own genitals, drink out of the toilet, eat their own barf, sniff another person's butt... Lucy from Peanuts was right, getting "kissed" by a dog does require some disinfectant!