Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had two cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
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Top comments
Panime 0
You survived to write about it, you're fine. But seriously, you should have socked him in the face.
Liveanotherday 0
Hmm, can you say lawsuit?
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Comments (100)
RiceChrispy03 9
What an ass.
bizarre_ftw 22
I've had that happen before, not as bad but the idiot dentist Did decide to tell me when I was in pain -___-
Keiren 14
Ugh. Sounds like my childhood dentist.
Baller_Bob 17
Sue?
0d987f6t54gu321 4
B
sophiehelen 32
Wtf?! As malpractice, could you sue him?
whiteweasel 5
OP, i similarly write when im in pain. i know how u feel
Tyrax 16
Malpractice, OP, I hope you filed.
IggyMouse 13
When I was nine the dentist started drilling into my tooth and rinsing it and didnt beleive i was in pain when I started crying. Now, at 19 they have found i have a really rare thing where my nerves are hyper sensitive (even on novicane) to cold so they always use warm water now.
MistressAfrodite 5
sue