Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had two cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
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Top comments
Panime 0
You survived to write about it, you're fine. But seriously, you should have socked him in the face.
Liveanotherday 0
Hmm, can you say lawsuit?
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Comments (100)
Panime 0
You survived to write about it, you're fine. But seriously, you should have socked him in the face.
JayJaysGirl 0
*writhing...but sorry OP):
kagome_eb 0
i hate dentist!!! horrible! i have to get my out too! noooooooo
ijrnelson 0
I hope you told him off afterwards!
Liveanotherday 0
Hmm, can you say lawsuit?
needsagf14 12
is that everyones conclusion in this country
crashsapphire93 4
sadly it is. Once a woman who tripped on a sidewalk, sued the city for a million dollars, and won.
darebear331 4
Lawsuit :)
Benzypoop 6
It's ******* malpractice dumbass. OP have every right to file a lawsuit!
thatguynamedsky 32
idiots gotta eat somehow
TheNameless_fml 0
Wow. I probably would've punched him in the face. What a tool.
BB14_fml 0
Me too.
thefmlman2011 37
No, the tool is in his hand.
ellykhoshkele 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ouch u poor thing!!! omg!!!! i have to get mine extracted too!! :( like all 4 :( omggggg!!! i hope ur fine now! did u survive it!?
hypnos_fml 0
I'm sorry to say, she has since passed
WTSchool 0
No, she didn't survive it. Rather, her ghost was here to tell us.
DeltaDragonxx 20
your profile says 25, but your acting like a 14 year old when the local starbucks has a sale
one23four 0
Ouch. Gotta love the pain killers though.
easyMac 0
Did you mean "Writhing"?
abes22 0
yay a smart person! :)
sara_saturday 5
nope, she meant writing. dumbass
ubbernoob 0
ouch. i had a similar experience.
jadkins 0
now i see why dentists have one of the highest suicide rate occupation wise XD