Today, I had my wisdom teeth pulled. There was a cyst behind one of them, and the dentist decided to extract it - except the Novocaine didn't reach that far back. I raised my hand like they said to do, and the dentist looked at me writing in pain and said, "No, you're fine." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dentist asked me about my fillings, so I told him that when I was younger, I had two cavities. He replied, "No you didn't. I just looked at your x-rays." Turns out my old dentist ripped me off. I never needed fillings. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
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Top comments
Panime 0
You survived to write about it, you're fine. But seriously, you should have socked him in the face.
Liveanotherday 0
Hmm, can you say lawsuit?
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Comments (100)
xMarchofFlamesx 0
i know how you feel. almost the same thing happened to me...
Tehalon 0
They had to drill into my bone because else they couldnt pull it out. It hurted so much i wanted to die, when it was over and they pulled the sheet off my face my face was all white and sweat was pouring down. I told em it hurted like hell and they replied "Thats impossible, you got a painkiller". I know what i felt damnit! The other wisdom tooth that got pulled before that didnt hurt at all so its not like its normal to hurt like hell :(
metomentodo 0
Ouch, that made me cringe.
EggsBenedict 0
don't they usually put you under for wisdom teeth? that sucks though :(
wolfy_fml 5
Did you make a high whine noise in your throat? That is what I did when my novocaine started wearing off. The dentist stopped, asked if I needed more. I nodded and got some more. I hope you at least gave him hell afterwards.
Emrysa 1
When I had all four wisdom teeth removed, they put me totally under. Later that night I went bowling and ate potato chips. (Albeit gently.) I never had to take my pain medication. I'm not joking. I guess I got a really good dentist.
Stupoopy 0
you should have punched him in the balls then been like "NO YOU'RE FINE ASSHOLE" or more like, "NO YOE HPHINE ATH-HOE!"
Thatswhatshesaid_fml 3
lolololol
Aly_fml_fml 0
Um, sue for Malpractice. I'm serious. ou should have kicked him and then said "No, you're fine."
lynx_fml 0
I'm glad I was unconscious when I got mine out. It was very relaxing.
liveitlearnit 0
Oh god, I can't imagine being conscious when they pulled out my wisdom teeth. When I came to, afterward, my entire face was blown up like a balloon and I was drooling uncontrollably in between moaning with pain. On top of that there was so much blood soaking up the gauze that I nearly passed out. You poor baby<3 Sue the bastard.