Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, I was being a little playful with my boyfriend when we began wrestling. He then put me in a choking headlock and wouldn't let me out until I "tapped out". FML
Today, I had to go hands-on at work, while choking on mace, with a man who was mentally disturbed. It could have been avoided, if my supervisor had been less concerned with asserting dominance, and instead let the guy get a grip on the situation. Great use of my college degrees. FML
Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML
Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML
Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
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Top comments
buckdharma 38
A proper technique might be to tie him up so he can't get away.
tpm45 25
Might I suggest online dating?
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Comments (63)
Jeffy91 28
Its all about getting out and about. Theres someone out there for everybody. Just some have to put more effort into finding them.
nitrog100 21
I know how you feel OP...Good luck...
graphicstyle7 17
Try online dating. It's not just some "weird thing", it's pretty much become the normal thing to do these days. Date (not sleep, date) around, see who you like, take your time and have fun! There is seriously someone for everyone out there, good luck.
mesahus 5
Where do you work? I'm interested
jordanlite 16
I know exactly what hold you were doing during this revelation. Maybe we work at the same place.
Gus1989 9
Same thing happened with my yoga instructor!
crazoy 8
I am just wondering OP is a male or female?
Theashutoshman 2
I feel you.