Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, at physical therapy, even though I was wearing underwear, when I went on the leg press machine, my balls popped out of the bottom of my shorts. A bunch of times. The therapist saw. FML
Today, I was nervously observing a delicate medical procedure while training at my new job. I tried to stifle a sneeze and instead (as you can probably guess) ripped the biggest, most cartoonishly loud fart of my life. My ass sounded like a tuba and I was asked to leave the room. FML
Today, I was headed towards the unisex bathroom at physical therapy when another patient looked up at me and quickly looked away. I knew instantly and prepared for the smell, but I wasn't expecting remnants still floating in the toilet. FML
Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML
Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML
Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML
Today, I was working out at the gym doing squats. There was a girl there that I wanted to impress so I loaded up the bar with a lot of weight and began to do my squat. As I was going down I farted so loud that I began to laugh and fell backwards. Everyone in the room just stared at me. FML
Today, while a patient in my local psych ward, I attended a relaxation group. Apparently it was too relaxing, as I farted in the middle of it. It smelled. People noticed. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You may have 30 minutes left, but #TimesUp! The man is there to do a job and not be sexually harassed by a super pooper!
ViviMage 40
You really should take off to the bathroom when you feel that gurgle! Don't worry, you may never date, but you'll be his most memorable patient at work!
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Comments (14)
BurnInDemonFire 39
I hope he let you clean yourself up.
guiltnazan 23
You now have shitty chances with dating him.
ViviMage 40
You really should take off to the bathroom when you feel that gurgle! Don't worry, you may never date, but you'll be his most memorable patient at work!
ImGladImNotU 16
Am I the only person left in the world who believes it's inappropriate to fart in front of someone?! Jeez
bobsanction 18
If by inappropriate you mean hilarious. It's a bodily function, get over it.
WHSKitty4ever 23
No
ArbiterOfFML 24
Wow, lets hop in the car, drive to the airport, go through checkpoints, fly to Antarctica while holding in the metaphorical fart and then let loose, than we can go home. You can't see a problem here? What is next, the same for burps, coughs and sneezing?
RichardPencil 32
You may have 30 minutes left, but #TimesUp! The man is there to do a job and not be sexually harassed by a super pooper!
blue_ecureuil 20
What a shitty situation
Meme Queen 3
what a crappy situation
RichardPencil 32
You’re the meme queen? A true queen would know the obvious meme is: “Sounds like a shitty situation.”
retailsuxa$$ 6
im sorry but ydi for trusting a fart
Stealthninjaa 19
That's when you excuse yourself and dart to the bathroom. Common sense, people.