Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
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Top comments
KissMyButtocks 6
Well, thats a great first impression!
preps87 0
Did you wave back?
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Comments (112)
oj101 33
At least you have a cosy neighborhood :)
Enslaved 38
Wave back by doing the helicopter!
slimjim8094 12
Do the helicopter dick Do the helicopter dick To impress a chick, Do the helicopter dick
Acik91 26
I'm singing it now in my head to a melody strangely resembling the one from 'If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!'... Uh.
gc327072 31
Hate to sound like that "first day on the Internet kid" meme, but is there seriously a song called "do the helicopter dick"?!
senor_awesome 14
58- It's in a song called Three way, by a group called Lonely Island. They also made a song called I Just Had Sex, which is where "doesn't matter had sex" came from.
Driblets 8
Look up The Lonely Island - 3 way (The Golden Rule)
gc327072 31
Ah, The Lonely Island. I should've guessed. Lol, those dudes are hilarious.
LexieWins 0
I'm sure she's a mom who will probably understand :)
superHydrate 4
Oooo! Fancy!
jjtothemax17 6
just smile and wave back! Don't be rude
NeedSomeLogic 7
Just smile and wave boys.
NeedSomeLogic 7
Madagascar quote.
AugustBurnsToast 14
Haha, one can only guess what was on her mind.
Ozuru 11
I'm pretty sure it was OP's length, big or small.
strawberrywine22 30
Hopefully she has kids, cause if she does I can guarantee she understands!!
3rdbass 9
Kayla?
aFreedom127 9
I hope you were standing tall and proud. You only get once chance to make a first impression.
lambda_fml 40
She waved...must have liked what she saw ;-)