Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML
Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
Today, at work, I was on my break when I had to use the bathroom. I was on the toilet taking a dump when the door latch loosened and the door swung open. The little girl standing there took one look and screamed. Security busted in. My pants were still down. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, when I needed the loo. The door was ajar, so I walked into his bathroom, sat down, and started to pee. I then looked up to see the shocked face of his dad sitting naked in the bath. FML
Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML
Today, I was trying on jeans in a store. Thinking the changing room door was locked, I stripped down to my underwear. Suddenly, an elderly woman opened the door, stepped in, and said, “Oh, I thought this was the toilet.” We locked eyes for an eternity before she backed out. I felt obligated to buy the jeans to regain some control of my life. FML
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Top comments
KissMyButtocks 6
Well, thats a great first impression!
preps87 0
Did you wave back?
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Comments (112)
thepooburgler 2
Threesome?
SeeNote 1
Just a friendly greeting :D
yourmofo 6
Wave back, but not with your hand. Be creative.
idealTHC 7
Well lock the damn door woman
Mynameislinh 24
WELL. Which half was naked...?
monagro 22
1 lock the door next time 2 In all fairness, waving is quite a nice response (instead of just freezing up, which is what most people would probably do). She sounds fun.
bubbagrove 1
Hold on. Are we talking about a male or female?
lovinloki 9
What is it with all these "toddler opening the door on me on the toilet" stories? Doesn't anybody lock the door when they're taking a crap??
daemonsparta 16
.... she waved? did she like what she saw?
SlapsKnee 12
At least she waved and didn't laugh or take a picture.