reddd
United States
Lonely
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Pauline
Cool
Today, I bought a new shirt I thought looked cool. At work, three people complimented me, then each one added a variation of, “My dad has the same one!” By lunch, my confidence had left the building entirely. A coworker even asked if I’d gotten it from the “retro section.” FML
hoaloha
Gilbert, United States
Today, I went to the store to buy some new shirts. I tried them on and none of them fit. When I walked out to return the shirts, everybody was staring at me. I looked down to see why. I'd forgotten to put my original shirt back on. FML
1nfected
Canada
Mean Girls
Today, when I arrived at work, I was greeted by my gorgeous coworker telling me my red shirt looked awesome on me. Before I could compliment her, she added that the color was fitting perfectly with my acne. I heard a couple of giggles around me. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Atwater, United States
Shopper crash
Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML
Red Head Redemption
Certainly seems like it
Today, I dyed my hair red. Everyone I've met who knows my real hair color has accused me of being an attention seeker, or thinks I lost a bet. I just thought I would look more attractive if my hair was red. Is that a crime? FML
James
Anxious
Today, I began worrying I have social anxiety, all because while getting dressed I convinced myself that everyone would talk about me behind my back if I wore a striped shirt. FML
muffinmen1022
United States
Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML
woopwoop
United States
Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML
helloitsbrian6969
United States
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
1234567898765432
Canada
Stuck on Amber
Today, I went to a Stoplight Party. Green shirt = single, yellow = hard to get, and red = taken. I showed up wearing a red shirt and saw my boyfriend in a green shirt. Thinking it was a mistake, I asked him jokingly why he wasn't wearing red. He looked at me oddly and said, "Oh, you didn't get my text?" FML
Top comments
HiIAmKevin 8
That's when you know you really have to hit up some bars...
Maybelline008 10
Well, did they?
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Comments (179)
HiIAmKevin 8
That's when you know you really have to hit up some bars...
SqueakyChipmunk 22
What?
Abdul888 16
and nightclubs.
shannonreneee 11
23, 1 was just offering an idea for OP to go to a public place where people are happy to socialize.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh. I thought he meant drugs or something.
Roevera 14
Buy yourself a blue vest.. there are much more interesting people at wal-mart.
Cappiej 18
Yeah, or find a job at a restaurant. There's lots of people you don't want to talk to there! .. Wait, what?
DrDilllonReese 12
Forever alone...
HiIAmKevin 8
Thank you Shannon and yes that is correct. Im still drunk from last night sorry if I worded it wrong
lucy_lue 9
1: Some of us don't actually like bars. I personally don't want to make friends with someone while they're drunk. OP should join a group or volunteer somewhere.
Donat96 20
At least OP was smart enough not to wear a red shirt on the USS Enterprise.
Angitia 8
Nah, 1, phrased it correctly you have.
Maybelline008 10
Well, did they?
SkoomaKi 28
Baby steps OP, soon you'll be working as a caddy for golfers. Eventually you might be able to have friend! Good luck.
Redoxx_fml 22
Join the Night's Watch you'll meet plenty of friends on the wall
starbucksguy 16
35:- Whoa...don't want to rush things!
whispernaughtysh 5
38 knows what's up.
airforce987 20
38 - "I am the sword that guards the realm of men."
Redoxx_fml 22
You'll have red head bitches on you in no time, you might even fight a wildling or two
123josie123 11
^38 game of thrones ftw.
nofearjenshere 12
73- Dr. Gru?!
afunnyterdcody 5
Don't we all do this??
xleanne_aLly 23
Why would thy talk to you because you were wearing a red shirt? Someone pleasee explain it to me.
hahafylop 4
Game of thrones references are always good. Sunday night here we come
akallaan 7
"Where an I find the memory cards for My camera?" "I don't know." "Who does?" "I don't know." "Where is your manager?" "I am the manager! Mwuhahahaha." "I am leaving."
Insane_Tea 15
#3's thought process: "OMG, I should make a funny comment!LOLZ" *After painstakingly typing up a 'funny' comment* "This is soooooo gonna get me thumbs up XD!!1!!" * Immediate thumbs down by the 99% of FMLs member base*
Roevera 14
Was that how your thought proccess went 45 while writing that?
Insane_Tea 15
Yes, yes it did.
mannykatany 9
Or maybe he said yolo
thecubie123 0
That made no sense
melonrind 8
That's sad!!.... Did it work?!
Pandacupcakelove 26
WHY? Why all the periods and question marks and... Ugh! One is enough!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Fluttershy isn't mean, therefore you bring her shame. HOW COULD YOU, YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD.
kickuwithmyfist 1
32- cool your ****!
Grimmerie 31
53: She's not being mean, she's being assertive. Thanks, Iron Will!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Yay.
Pandacupcakelove 26
Sorry guys... I just get five texts a day saying "Hi!!!!!!!!!! How are you???????" It just gets so annoying! And I also have a bad day :/ Sorry! I tend to over react sometimes...
benikki 0
Why the **** do pepole get so mad with the way other people type...! If yu dont like it, dont read it!!! If yu wanna read it. Then deal with it!!!!!!
Pandacupcakelove 26
117- Yeah, good advice! I'll just predict what the comment/text I'm about to read is going to say and if it says something I don't want to read, I won't! Yeah, makes perfect sense... If you're psychic.
p3mguin 7
I know you had a bad day and stuff, but there is only one question mark, got to point that out
bunniex1 11
What!!!!! One!!!! Exclamation!!! Point!!! Is!!!! Never!!!!!! Enough!!!!!!!!!!!
kickuwithmyfist 1
LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
cyK0tek 0
One does not simply.......not read a text!!!!!!!!!!!!
lopsop 12
Stop yelling! *goes in corner and cries*
gurly98 13
OP why on earth would you want to attract the attention of people you do not know?
Abdul888 16
He most probably wants to socialize :)
Cappiej 18
Yup. Believe it or not, but at some point all your friends were strangers. I know, it's very shocking!
Incredibly_Dope 0
OP do you own 3 or more cats?
notsorandomguy 18
That's not how you get people to talk to you. You get people to talk to you by chloroforming them, taking them back home and having them wake up bound to a chair, with a razor, cigarettes, a fire poker and a few knives lying a few feet away, at your feet. Oh, and did I mention the evil sadistic smile?
micahsmommy 13
I think that would invoke screaming not talking.
notsorandomguy 18
Have you never heard "please stop, I'll talk, I swear I'll talk, just stop it, please" before? *sigh* Younglings these days, can't even handle a guest properly...
micahsmommy 13
Younglings? Says the 15 year old boy.
notsorandomguy 18
25 - I... Don't even know what to say... What is happening to our people? Doc, Perdix, Noor, even A_teen, hell, even Sirin or Alan, someone tell me what the hell went wrong!
hotPinklipstick 24
30- I think what happened was you got burned. It's ok though, it happens to the best of us. You can go crawl back in your hole now and we will think about forgiving you.
notsorandomguy 18
It's called a joke, 33. Did you actually think I would go around patronising people and calling them younglings?
hotPinklipstick 24
Wow someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was being sarcastic. So please remove the stick from your ass and put as smile on. :)
DocBastard 40
notsorandomguy - What went wrong is that you called an adult woman a "youngling". You must either have enormous balls or no clue. I have a feeling it's the former, but I can't be sure.
notsorandomguy 18
Both and neither, Doc. Does not acting like everyone else necessarily clueless or needs me to have huge balls? Certainly, both are necessary, but, at the same time, neither are necessary since, in the end, other people's opinions are theirs and not mine. That said, I'm not even sure myself of what I just typed but well, both and neither.
gntfmlingnow 12
Is this a reference to a really old FML? If so, I applaud you. If not, still a good joke
delissaj 0
That's how you get people to not like you.
curlyfry33 8
^lolz someone has been creepin
The_Hitdude 12
Last time I checked, shirt color doesn't made anyone want to talk to you. Try being outgoing and friendly! Must people like that.
The_Hitdude 12
Ah, I see now. Sorry, I'm derpin' today. And you're back! You haven't posted in a while.
KiRaKaT 9
The point of OP's shirt color was the color of the uniform most target employees wear. So, yes in this case the color of the shirt did matter. OP you should have went to walmart, people would have really talked to you since every time you try to ask an employee a question they turn away and act like you're not there.
The_Hitdude 12
13- We established that already. Thanks anyway. And... *Should have gone
_wraith 15
Besides, in Walmart there is the chance of being knocked over by a large lady for the bacon sale, whether you be customer, employee or imposter.
KiRaKaT 9
19- do you really want to be grammar Nazi? Keep in mind your original post. My apologies for my post dear sir....
goddamniluvme 0
Not to bright are we?
Annis_x3 7
doesn't make* Most people* Since, you know, you love correct grammar on every comment but your own.
KiRaKaT 9
168-I love you! Haha according to his profile he likes to people in their "place" yet gets so defensive if you put him in his.
OkitaCockroach 19
"Hi? I'm looking for the My Little Pony toys..." :p
SqueakyChipmunk 22
"We're all out. The creepy little girl over there just bought them all." Me: mwahaha! And then the bronies attacked me. THE END.
Grimmerie 31
/gathers ponies into a large pile and hisses~ my little precioussssssss MINE
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh hell no! Don't make me pull out the party cannon!
ilovedoctorwho 8
It'd be pretty awkward if you got caught by an actual worker, who'd probably assume you're some creeper. Did you manage to help some unsuspecting customers anyway?
PaulB123 11
How about you hand in an application and... Actually work there?
THE_A_TEEN 28
Work?...What's work?
xxGhost_Wolfxx 2
PaulB123 great picture.