Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML
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Top comments
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Words cannot describe how embarrasing that must have been.
AussieChild 22
How does that even happen?? I've heard of young children getting stuck, but an adult...??
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Comments (106)
lmbachman 23
Why was the silence awkward??? I mean, you're just using the bathroom...
Glitterhinoceros 14
OP must be one of those people who initiate the awkward conversations.
ICastillo 25
#51 it became awkward after OP asked the other person how their shit was coming along and if it was going smooth.
Sinamoi 18
No problem sargent sarcasm. :D
The_1_One 3
1. how do u notice an awekward silence in the washroom. you go in there for business. 2. how wet was ur butt to get it suctioned to the toilet? 3. wipe better next time.
buckdharma 38
Aye, it's a dangerous job on the high seas. The last thing I heard me Captain say was there she blows, and the sound was deafening. The bell tolled five times that fateful day for me mates who were lost, but we landed err, with enough blubber to light are lamps for a fortnight.
Missy2612 11
How terribly embarrassing.. and probably painful! geez.. maintenance men have probably seen it all.
snafu63 0
An awkward silence?! Are you dense? You're not supposed to have a conversation while sitting there, you totally deserve this for not understanding what proper bathroom etiquette is.
captainObviously 15
This is a terrible comment. It was moderated.
EffYoLife 14
How small are you? And why were you sitting on a public toilet seat. GROSS!
catatonicsleep 17
public toilet seats get gross because people hover over them and end up splashing things on them