Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML
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Top comments
ItsaMeLuigi 6
Words cannot describe how embarrasing that must have been.
AussieChild 22
How does that even happen?? I've heard of young children getting stuck, but an adult...??
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Comments (106)
glitterxox 0
Off track, but that reminds me of the ad "help, I've fallen and I can't reach my beer" But in this case it would be "help, I'm stuck on the toilet and I will have to be pulled out my maintenance men".
suboy 10
All i can think is ,how?!?
jmcgirl 3
Sounds like it's time to lose some weight? And most people don't talk to the other stranger using the restroom..
EffYoLife 14
Or gain some
sistr2three 4
how on earth does a fat person get stuck in a toilet (i don't think they're fat)
kemnet 7
Why are you normally so talkative in the stalls,I guess you always.... "talk shit" :D
neh7113 4
Lol :D
KiddNYC1O 22
Only place where awkward silence isn't awkward...
Daederoth 10
An awkward silence? We're you expecting small talk? You might have some anxiety issues, also a weight issue.
Bajee 10
You were way too comfortable on a public toilet seat. I never sit on those things.
poindexter25 5
Some guy asked me if I wanted pepto bismol once when I was number 2ing, I politely declined
ladybug_26 18
Think it's maybe time to lay off the McDonalds OP.
nikamarie 6
Uhm, being overweight would not cause OP to fall in the toilet. Being petite, however, probably would. Not everyone in America is obese.
catatonicsleep 17
or having a very large ass which got stuck, it doesn't say she fell in it says she got her ass stuck....
hama806 19
Holy...shit. Thank God for maintenance men!