Help! I need somebody! Anybody!

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Today, I was so desperate for someone to talk to I called various restaurants pretending to be interested in ordering food, just so I could have a conversation. I called eleven different places. FML

Forever alone man

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

Lonely, so lonely

Today, I realized how lonely I am when someone called my number by mistake and I talked with them for 5 minutes. I don’t know who she was, but I'm so lonely I was happy to have someone engage in a conversation, even if it was about her calling the wrong number. FML

Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

Hello?

Today, I butt-dialed my ex-boyfriend while venting to my best friend about how hot but emotionally unavailable he is. I realized this when there was a lull in the conversation and I heard his tinny little voice coming out of the phone, saying, "I can hear you." FML

Today, I once again used my phone to get out of a conversation with someone, instead of actually talking to someone on it. FML

Today, after a week on bed rest in a cast after ankle surgery, I got so bored and lonely I agreed to do an hour-long government phone survey just to have someone to talk to. FML