Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lmmmr 0
Don't have sex with people you don't know.
kthxdie 0
At least you didn't wake up to his wife and kids in person.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
deaditegirl 0
YDI for being a drunken ****.
midwestjerk 0
Hopefully his wife discovers what happened and murders both of you.
Eelusive 0
YDI but there's nothing wrong with stranger sex. Get your groove on my dear.
Sonfang 19
A Big YDI, if I could make the font bigger I sooo would! You deserve all the drama your about to get for having drunken random sex!!!!
sublime93 0
Yea calm the **** down. People drink & have one night stands all the time. You complaining about them in the comment section of FMyLife isn't going to change anything. The dude shouldn't have had sex with her if he had a family, that's totally his fault.
lexiBRo 0
Sure it takes two to tango but OP is not responsible for "desecrating their entire marriage". Since she is posting on this site it is fair to say that had she been aware of his marital status she would not have slept with him. The only reason people are making a big deal over it is because it was a one-night stand. Had OP been dating the guy for months and later found out he was married everyone would click fyl, and not blaming her for ruining his marriage.
Rydizzle 0
You Deserve It for being a ****
jewelzgalore 0
With a beautiful first sentence like that I don't feel the need to sympathize.
Capn 0
...wise words of wisdom "pimpin88".
Snazaza 0
and where the hell was his wife?