Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML
Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I got drunk at a party at our house. At the end, my husband passed out, so his best friend and I carried him to bed. His best friend is stupidly hot and I get horny when I'm drunk, so on a whim I made a pass at him. He shut me down and later told my husband. FML
Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We then decided to come home, planning an intimate moment. Once home, I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I'd fallen asleep right before we'd even started. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML
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Top comments
lmmmr 0
Don't have sex with people you don't know.
kthxdie 0
At least you didn't wake up to his wife and kids in person.
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Comments (190)
JournalKeeper 0
yo ass shouldn't have gotten drunk.
c6dragster 0
why wasnt his wife there all night?
GlobalB 0
Sure 24 (JarJar). In my opinion, based on only what I know from the FML, she isn't a ****. Admittedly having sex with someone on the first night you meet them especially when drunk isn't a suggested option, but it happens. I wouldn't quite call it a mistake since she doesn't regret having the sex just who it turned out being with, but it wouldn't be enough in my eyes to call her a ****. And I only meant casual in the sense that it was non-commital, not basing it off of being the first time. But at the same time, I would call a girl a **** if she continually slept with numerous guys upon first meets, and this wasn't a rare event. These things happen, especially when alcohol is involved, and you can't judge a person based off of one night's events. It's a very thin line and hard to explain since it's highly circumstantial, but this one "accident" does not qualify the brand of a **** to me, unless, as I said, this is nowhere near the first time this has happened.
seantgla 0
YDI. And there's nothing more unattractive that a man or woman who has lost control of the faculties. Might want to try AA.
mike1921 0
AA, for getting drunk once? That's absolutely ridiculous.
dude85 0
wow can you say *****?
lmmmr 0
I don't blame her for ruining the marriage. That's 100% on him. I blame her for putting herself in the situation to unknowingly sleep with married men in the first place. I don't think she's a ****, that's not for me to say, but when you sleep with people you don't know, you have to expect consequences. Claiming FML is not accepting the consequences. Therefore, YDI.
queenkiwinc 0
Too bad you were not prepared for this. I'm used to it. When I have a boyfriend I always cheat. Sometimes they are married or in a relationship. I don't care because I'm not equipped to handle a grown up relationship anyway. So for me sleeping with married men is ok. I just hate the idea of my bible-thumping Mother finding out. She would beat me.
Hyozanryu 0
I hope to god she finds out and beats the living **** out of you.
lmmmr 0
Moron. If you are not equipped to handle a grown up relationship, then don't get into relationships. It may not be your responsibility to ensure the fidelity of others, but you must be a degenerate, compassionless troll to knowingly and enthusiastically cause pain to others time and time again. I hope that an STD catches up with you and you can no longer impose yourself as society's responsibility.
sublime93 0
I think that might have been sarcasm
Bullshet 0
Is that how you justify being a knowing accomplice in cheating?? How about thinking about other people for once besides yourself. Sounds like you're not able to handle most grown up things.
Bullshet 0
,
mike1921 0
How is she the accomplice? She's the perp, and I guess the accomplice to the other person cheating. But I don't see how you could point that out over her cheating on her boyfriend.
just_kidding 0
What did you expect ? Maybe he is not the good guy type but you're not in a position to blame him. Those who have their lives f***ed are his wife and child.
KorbenDeck 5
One night stands make you worth less in the eyes of men. I hope you know that
TexasGirl24 15
Aw, this guy doesn't like me because I had a one night stand even though he high-gives his buddy last week for having one with a hot chick./sarcasm
Hyozanryu 0
Agreed, she deserves it. DON'T SLEEP WITH PEOPLE YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW.