Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving when this guy aggressively rode my tail and crossed over the yellow line to pass. He reached the stop light before I did, and I slowly pulled beside him and started clapping for this lunatic driver. He rolled down the window and said, "My daughter is in the hospital. How do I get there?" FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Today, my car broke down at a red light. A man pulled up next to me and yelled at me to get out of the fast lane. I thought he was gonna offer help, as I was a young woman on her own, but he just yelled at me and sped off. FML
Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML
Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML
Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, I pulled my motorcycle into a wheelie when my crush drove by. She was the one who drove me to the hospital when I went over backward. FML
Today, while reviewing boxes of motorcycle parts, I noticed my neighbor's daughter gleefully watching me. I jokingly said, "Wanna do this?" and she let out a loud squee and got to work alone. A few hours later, the bike was ready for a test run. I had no idea how to even start building it. She's 14. FML
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Top comments
Ochi_fml 0
lol, that is funny!
azurablade 0
ew?
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Comments (123)
Ochi_fml 0
lol, that is funny!
me199 0
Don't you mean YOUR'E!!!!!!!!! learn english dumbass
ericvolp12 0
is this real life? or just fantasy?
silentfog 0
lol your'e
Darth_Draco 0
that is so weird.......? I'm still wondering why the OP would even say that!
Otto12 0
must...resist.... singing..... bohemion.... rhapsody....... ARGHHHH!!!!!
Boddmon 0
@ #11 Don't you mean YOU'RE!!!!!!!!! learn english dumbass **note to dumbass: Before insulting others, please review your own comment**
somethingawesome 9
you're is correct. not your'e
o0XMzMayX0o 0
hahaha #11 that's wat u get Hun! OP- maybe choosing a better set of words would of helped. Probably the guy knew wat u said and he was just being funny? so dnt b hard on ur self.
SeasonedLemur 5
hahahaha in your ugly arse face #11 that'll teach you for being such a ******* Nazi! you smelly little rat!
Zigma_fml 0
Yeah, "get it up" isn't used that way anymore. Get with the times.
2blondesumtymes 0
and you still spelt YOU'RE wrong dumbass
ebbomega 0
Bohemian Rhapsody troll is annoying. Please learn the freaking lyrics already.
cocaimy 0
#11 YOU'RE a freaking idiot. learn to spell yourself dumbass.
Rosalie_Haostn 0
.....it's definitely YOU'RE. learn your grammar. lol
morgankrystyne 0
I just love how you tried to correct someone else and you ended up looking like the dumbass! :)
me199 0
yeah i deserved that
awesome8021 3
Don't you mean you're? haha
Beatles1500 0
that's a fail dude. you spelled you're wrong
sammy22 0
who cares, you know what she means donkey! second, you should know guys would say that- they are all always trying to get something, anything.
blackllama 0
Wow 11, you're a moron correcting someone on grammar and you forgot the r in you're.
ihavenoname123 0
Why don't you learn it first? your comment was a question, So I think it should include a question mark. It goes at the end BTW.
iLenny 0
your wrong too. it's "you're"
heather36b 0
it's actually spelled you're. so if you can't spell it, you have no right to call them a dumb ass you dumb ass
tedwin223 0
#11 it's spelled you're because the apostrophe replaces the A learn English you dumbass
AA357 0
im just a poor boy i need no sympathy
xander2347 0
roflmfaolol at 11
campbellshayla73 0
um it's you're not your'e
greendaygirl999 5
Two things: 1. Damn threadjackers these days *shakes head* 2. 11, don't be such a grammer Nazi. Jeez.
EmoLittleBish 0
#11 go to hell
xdmsjcx 0
? haha do you want a side of epic with that fail ??? she spelled it right " you're :P
kionnaloves 11
Ha. Smelly rat+your profile picture=win.
wopchop12 8
By the way you idiotic ****. It's spelled " you're" not "Your'e". I'm an immigrant and I still know more than your uneducated dumb ass
azurablade 0
ew?
li_vikki 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
3rd. haha
ilysweetcupcake 1
sorry dear, that's life. people have to grow old. not an fml.
BenCakes 0
i'm pretty sure he didn't care for that. But the FML was about the dude saying he would "get it up" for his daughter.
kei1108 13
People should know that it is against the rules to say that someone's FML isn't worthy; especially when it's just based on your personal opinion.
Jake1595 0
ha
bigpenus 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
bang day pussy
wildcat798 1
I'd take you on a date.
NancyDeebensDPDS 0
really, ur gay?
lucifer69_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you then proceeded to get out of your car, take him down, strip him of his clothes (and perhaps dignity) and make him 'get it up' for you then and there. show the daughter how it's done- then you would have asked her to join. of course
infiniti_G 0
sick ****
Averizzle 0
She is Satan what do you expect
lucifer69_fml 0
definately correct fags!
_toronto_chick_ 0
WTF
D3kl3 0
this is a joke someone told me before.
itsucks12 0
rofl