Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, I entered my neighbors’ yard around a shorter corner than usual. Their old dog is getting a bit slow, but unfortunately only in her head: By the time she recognized me as harmless, she had already run up and bitten me. FML
Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML
Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Everytime I touched her, her jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, I came home on crutches. My dog was immediately afraid of them, and came running towards me, growling and barking. She ran right into me, knocking me over. FML
Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML
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Top comments
hunny_kat 0
You should have kicked her in the kidneys and then apologized and told her that she looked a lot like another old woman who had previously hit you with her cane for no reason.
survivalism 0
That crap is annoying. Take the cane and throw it next time.
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Comments (112)
jSOPURE 3
If the shoe fits... Sorry. =/
ofbrightlights 0
can you say lawsuit?
Suckstbeyou 0
it happens. the cops thought I was a rapist once cuz some old lady called the cops on me cuz I fit the profile. I would have knocked her ass off me and told her she could get hurt by acting like that. old lady or not. let's be civilized.
King_of_Kings 3
just a misunderstanding. NOT AN FML if you guys reading this want to see some good videos of Things That Deserver To Be Destroyed, follow the following link - http://www.youtube.com/PlyWoodProductions
ithedarkknight 0
are you serious grab the cane and wack that bitch back idc if she old... that some bullshit... anyone hitting me with a cane better be ready to take that shit back
xoxkarinexox 0
Slap that hoe and tell her to not jump to conclusions!! >:( who is she to whack the first person who pets her dog who happens to look like a dognapper?!?! She should be more careful!! This pissed ME off rofl
xoxkarinexox 0
Oh and #75 I love you and completly agree :D
wbrycem 0
#77 + sexual innuendo = lololol
anniesaysbueno 0
to really be taken seriously, it all depends on how hard she whacked you. a few red marks and I say it wasn't too bad if there's bruising, it's a totally different situation
Ventriloquisitor 0
"Today, I saw the woman who kidnapped my dog. I beat her with a cane repeatedly. Turns out it wasn't the right woman. FML"
DBJ740 0
Put that old bitch in a home.