Today, my dad is having his midlife crisis, bought a Mercedes, along with having a girlfriend less than half his age. I was trying to be supportive, until I found out he is funding his midlife crisis with my university loan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's the third week of my dad's midlife crisis. So far he's blown half my college fund pimping out his piece of shit car, keeps texting me meme pictures, and keeps yelling "Savage!" and "Recked!" any time my mom makes a joke at anyone's expense. FML
Today, my dad started his mid-life crisis. Instead of a Porsche or a Ferrari, he bought a tractor. Goodbye summer holiday. FML
Today, I found out that my 50-year-old Father is the 'Sugar Daddy' to a 20-year-old. He wasted my college funds on her, which I have been dutifully saving for ever since I was 10. FML
Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML
Today, my father lectured me for dating a man with "no future", even though he's entering a PhD program next year at a top university. Meanwhile, my dad's last relationship was with a 20-year-old hooker who ended up stealing his credit cards. FML
Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding." This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML
Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML
Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML
Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML
Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML
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Top comments
cacheson 42
Ooooh he bought a girlfriend? Where do they sell those?? :D
fushengyuan 20
The good news is that your credit history must be good. My student loan is not even close to affording a car & a gf.
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Comments (59)
restinpepperonis 13
Sounds like the next time your dad needs your help he is going to regret his choice.
Earths_Venus 25
Murder your dad. Make it look like an accident. Inherit the car. Use the car to attract good-looking women. Use the life insurance payout for university.
Fmelikeuhateme 24
Now that's a good idea *thumbs up*
hersheykisses511 18
You know there's a button for that right
oj101 33
Wow, how much are tuition fees in the Czech Republic? I thought most European countries had free universities or really low tuition fees. And I'm sure that the university would be understanding of your situation if you sit with the fee board and explain to them what happened :)
limegreenpoopie 31
Through your university loan? How is that possible?
Yastafari 16
I swear this is very similar if not a rip off of the FML with the son whose father was also going through a midlife crisis & blew through his college trust fund.
LyingBlood 8
your fault, never get loans.
Richard6036 13
It sounds like your dad either needs to straiten up or suffer the consequences , it's a serious issue that needs to be dealt with ASAP
mixximoo 24
That is so selfish of him.
Avi8r 22
Wow, midlife crisis seems to be the FML theme today.
jazzybaby179 22
Did he call you porky as well?xD