Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Snowglobes" I chortled.
katy513 0
I can't believe you said snowglobes.
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Comments (125)
McMan 23
Snowglobes? I love snowglobes! I love to shake them and watch the snow fly around and I imagine the snow flying out and filling the room. So magical... what was I talking about?
iliketurdles 7
Something about turtles I think. Why else would I be here?
demo3000 0
Shut the **** up?
SirEBC 7
The author of this story should be shot.
Trace01m 11
Smell your hand.
cfrost11 0
Snowglobes??? really??
Stupidpeopleanno 5
#1, I used "chortled" on another FML! We're chortle buddies! *Internet high-five.* As for OP, YDI because you didn't use Happy Sacks.
skyeyez9 25
I collect snowglobes.
thesinginguy 18
I agree with the other guy. buhbye(:
alexFYL 11
Why would he have snowglobes in his pants? Was he shoplifting? You should have said something, or given him a bag to carry them in if he didn't steal them. Worst employee ever.
IHeartJimi02 0
It's not the end of the world op. It is nasty but use hand sanitizer or something.
KasaraEm13 12
Thanks, man. Anytime my nieces or someone shake a snow globe, I'm gonna think of this now.
dansco 25
FML?! Really? Wash your hands and stop watching blokes rub themselves lol