Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Snowglobes" I chortled.
katy513 0
I can't believe you said snowglobes.
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Comments (125)
allmidnighteyes 11
"Snowglobes" I chortled.
Aerious 0
I cackled.
iliketurdles 7
I sneezed. ohh wait..
derpherp 0
I crackled.
zakkyzebra 11
I sneeacrackled...
shaneac 0
I guffawed.
MrNewOrleans 0
I exploded
BlackHoleSuns 0
C-C-COMBO BREAKER :D lol but really that was humorous. Its called Germ-X rub some on and get over it... Shit happens. Unfortunately so does ball sack smell.
RiskiBusiness 1
I... well uhm... laughed..
funnyFMLSplz 0
you ******* beat me to it. ^ by a lot tho. ;(
morgs1213 4
I chuckled at how I felt the need to say I chuckled.
uncbballwins 0
I jizzed.
Mirelly13 6
omg! Do you work at a gift shop?!?
ahole123 0
I sneeacragawplozzed
PeteyPablo12308 20
I pooped
blaine72 0
I tittered
C6Racer 0
I sharted.
kazzz23 0
I love your reply. xD
ohSNAPyall 27
"Snowglobes" is back!
kile88 2
I peed just a little
xIINotorious 0
I jizzled
crazypomgurl3 0
I coughed and then died
Katy326 10
I giggled
HouseHunter 2
I snap-crackle-popped
you_failed 15
I just took a ride on the ROFL-copter.
TheAftermath 0
I laughed so hard till I..... farted.
kibbleskid911 0
i ate taco
ydi_4_suking 20
he has snowglobes? lucky i only have testicles
madeline9322 17
I teeheed.
katy513 0
I can't believe you said snowglobes.
CommonSenseKarma 17
Snowglobes are so smooth and pretty <3
shaannonwilding 0
75- Yeah but balls are neither of those!
iloveloosy12 0
we call them testicles or of you still can't say it, we accept 'balls'
Edsterr 0
I, on the other hand, can't believe it's not butter
ahriel 0
haha!! nice
demo3000 0
You're a ******* idiot.
piiing 0
ew
Turner_22 0
What, wouldn't you want to be in that situation?
DarkHelmet 10
no u didnt u couldve fist bumped or done the bow
Frickmetinajenks 0
Ah balls.
kcnutt10 1
To the window.......to the wall! Until the sweat drops down these balls! All the females crawl! Aw, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet! Aw, skeet, skeet mutha fucka!
ArielTheMermaid 17
what song is that? my friends sing it sometimes and I'm just wondering
bavegla 0
Google it
onepluszero 0
snow.... GLOBESSS!! hahahaha...
nolli024 0
Well, if it was just snow globes, then it shouldn't be a problem!
SluggerJ 7
he/she means balls, gonads, the family jewels need I go on
Thejackel79 9
i think he was being sarcastic
Doortje 30
Scratching them or shaking them?
emileeann 0
win
Cypherrr 13
"Snowglobes." xD
DocBastard 40
I don't understand why he had snowglobes down his pants. Was he stealing them? Is this an American thing?
mazesm 11
There talking about balls, you stereotyper.
stitch_book 4
*they're don't take the joke too seriously. besides, it was funny.
poisonflower 6
Yes, Americans find it convenient to stick things in their pants as a way of stealing them. I do it all the time.
IHeartJimi02 0
18, Doc was kidding.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
Canadians don't need to steal snowglobes , they live in one . :) no jk, but Op I find that rather nasty . FYL , clean your hand so that the remnants aren't on you . and FYI #18 , jokes , jokes ......
thelastavailable 13
Wow. Americans get offended easily...
OochenSnoochen 15
Stereotypist*
mrs_bruno_mars 14
I agree wholeheartedly to that, 88.