Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML
Today, I was chatting with a customer who comes regularly to my job. He sticks his hand out and I put my hand on his, thinking he's giving me a high five. He was just waiting for his receipt. FML
Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML
Today, I was working at my retail job. A customer stopped me on my way to break saying "someone" had broken a snow globe. She showed me where it was and I cleaned it up with her circling me. I finished and put the cleaning supplies away when I heard a 'crash' as the same woman dropped another snow globe. FML
Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML
Today, I went into to shake a big wig's hand at work, and he went in for a hug. I couldn't pull my hand away fast enough, so I cupped his entire titty for at least 10 seconds. FML
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Snowglobes" I chortled.
katy513 0
I can't believe you said snowglobes.
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Comments (125)
kibbleskid911 0
lololol
Rainbow_dumpster 28
I chuckled. x3
MitchellK 3
snowglobes?......
Mirorbo 27
Gloves are both fashionable AND functional, darling!~
Norwegian_Wood 4
I'm partial to a lovely combination of the two. wearing gloves and then washing my hands afterwards. Yeah, I'm a bit of an anti-germ freak, haha.
tykiej 0
What the **** ever happened to calling them balls or testicles? I already dont like you OP.
demo3000 0
You're the man.
xNephilim 19
Boohoo, OP called the dude's balls snowglobes. Get over yourselves. I thought it was a funnier way to say it.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
^FINALLY someone with some common sense .
OochenSnoochen 15
Hey I don't want to alarm you, but you're upside down.
nahbayccb 0
DocBastard- I think people have snowglobes down their pants for the same reason they have coke bottles up their.... uh .... hips...
TheyCallMeBrando 0
hahahahahaha!!
mea_iloveskiing 26
With santa claus chillin' in the middle :D
VeraJK 16
"Snowglobes" lol
F33L_My_Koolaid 0
YDI for using the term "aforementioned"
McMan 23
*Throws a dictionary at F33L_My_Koolaid's head* The power of words compels you!
xGraycloud 4
is that a win-fail? o_0