Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML
Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML
Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML
Today, after my husband yelled at me for wasting money by getting my nails done, I decided to buy the supplies and watch YouTube to figure out how to do them myself. He then yelled at me for wasting money on the supplies. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, we had an argument and my husband called my mother right in front me. Two minutes later, she was on his side and yelling at me on FaceTime that I’m a bad wife, a pain in the ass, and a nagging bitch. The argument was about him leaving tools around for me to step on and cut my foot open with. FML
Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML
Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML
Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML
Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long, nasty toenails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML
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Top comments
EvilLilCupcake 10
Instead of throwing a plate at his head, like in the movies. Throw a toothbrush.
eddeeezzyy 19
I find this hard to ********** to...
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Comments (83)
breakdowns 2
He's trying to become close with you. Let him be himself.
EvilLilCupcake 10
Yes. Because every time I want to become closer to someone, I ask for their fingernail...
RadioOctopus 16
Me and my boyfriend have a strange closeness like that.. I understand what he's saying. Every couple has their own ways of showing each other their love :). I play with his face and sometimes we will play with each others mouths with our hands without noticing and feel eachothers teeth an stuff, it's just how close we are.
DjeePee 25
Playing with eachothers mouth =/= demanding the finger nail of your spouse to clean your teeth. Just sayin'.
sleepyolivia 14
I bet anything that 33 and her boyfriend are white.
Pentium_4 27
that sounds effective. fight worthy = no
Private_Parking 3
Throw a big 'ol bottle of mouthwash at him!! Maybe he'll learn his lesson.
loserboii 11
Tell him to invest in Listerine instead of going back to the 18th century ways.
BrysGirl27 14
Ohhh boy....hahaha instead of i scratch your back you scratch mine...its I scratch your teeth you scratch mine:p
onedeadfukk 0
Wowzerz ^^^^^ really??? nice pun tho!!
DjeePee 25
This one wins the 'Dirtiest FML of the Day' price.
stewpididiot 11
Yeh.. They prolly pop each others zits too !
Dcm210 19
make him use his finger nail.
paschale 7
Isn't that what you signed up for when you got married?