Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML
Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML
Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML
Today, I went to see a movie but took my phone out a few times to check my socials. Apparently the asshole behind me didn’t like that, because he ripped my phone out of my hands, dropped it in my soda, then just sat back in his seat like nothing happened. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Well, movie popcorn is expensive.
pam241 15
And your son is now scarred for life.
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Comments (104)
froggyjade 16
Pretty bad that the police had to come out for a popcorn 'fight', hope your son is ok and tell your husband to stop acting like a 5 year old!
NatalieOntheTram 11
That's why you sneak your own snacks into the theater. And if you noticed your husband being a thief, why didn't you tell him to cut it out? I know I definitely wouldn't take kindly to somebody stealing my food.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
Sounds like an episode of "Impractical Jokers" gone bad.
Blaphlafagus 19
Today, some asshole at the movie theatre kept stealing my overpriced popcorn so I eventually got fed up with it and punched him in the face, the movie got stopped and police were called... Fml
lilrockerjj 5
What if he didn't realize he was taking popcorn from the guy? There is always that possibility.
Uhscanherdarklee 10
The fml implies that the guy repeatedly did it. I could see it happening once but im sure the stranger corrected him after the first time and he continued to do it.
worldclassrager 41
Home movies...
martin8337 36
OP, your husband deserved it.
ultra_notorious 26
you married a winner
engineerosaurus 26
You husband is a kleptomaniac and a world-class asshole. Where'd you find this guy, so the ladies reading can run the other way?
BriannaMGK 15
Your husband seems a little immature, what grown adult steals someone popcorn? I could understand if it was the 6 year old taking someone's popcorn!