Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
Today, we were slowly introducing my daughter to the pool to help her get over her terrible fear of water. My father-in-law scoffed, called us pussies, and tossed my daughter straight into the water. When I threw him out, he insisted he was just trying to teach her to swim "the right way." FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
fuckedPriceless 17
At least his mind hasn't aged!
swplphlsgois13 9
Well jokes on him if he has to buy you a new phone
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Comments (74)
MallardMarauder 10
YDI, never say anything bad or sarcastic about someone who is within arms reach next to a pool.
verhelle21 8
he may age, but it seems his sense of humor will not! sounds fun!
BradTheBrony 19
You're right, it seems his sense of humor stopped aging at 3 years old.
papayeya 18
never tells an an aged person he/she is getting old
BlondMadness 1
You guys are dumbshits, how could he post this if he fell on the water with his phone? Dumbshits!
aantthhoonyy 6
I'm actually reading this from my desktop.. Just because they lost their phone doesn't mean they cant post from their regular computer.. Dumbshit.
XEnvy 7
one time we were shooting off rockets near the water and my friends dad thought he could swim out to get it, with his wallet and iPhone in his pocket.
commandercolbert 6
hes an asshole
StzaCrack666 18
how is this an fml? you have a pool. i want a pool.
more4me 27
Dad trolling level: expert!
xElitexGamer 5
Dads… aren't they just the best. YDI, FYL
FemskyD 26
Agreed!! Saying something like whilst standing next to a pool.. You should have thought that through!! :)