Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML
Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML
Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry…" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML
Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought me home flowers and candy for the first time in our one-year relationship. Thinking he was going to finally propose, I got excited. I asked why he was being so sweet, and he responded with, "I thought you'd take the breakup better this way." FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I received a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend, which is something he's never done before. Unfortunately, this was his way of apologizing for cheating on me. FML
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Top comments
Callmesam 10
Make cookies with them and then tell him he can't have any since he bought it for you as a gift.
Geometric 18
Your boyfriend is hilarious, I would laugh hysterically too :D
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Comments (124)
Sandsh8rk 36
Shove it up his ugly ass.
Quest_ 13
That's right, SHOVE IT UP HIS UGLY ASS.
SammyS2012 21
What if his butt is actually beautiful? Don't judge :(
MatteKudasai 17
Does he even own a donkey?
PenguinBitch 44
Your boyfriend has a good sense of of humor. If your so gullible to believe him, then you should move in with the family whose dad believes in that Mayan shit.
Spark_Slicker 19
Explain how expecting to get flowers when your boyfriend tells you he is going to get them is the same as believing in the Mayan Prophecy?
PenguinBitch 44
*NewsFlash* Dad does not believe in the Mayan prophecy. I accept thumbs downs in a bundle please.
cgchamp89 7
You, good sir, caught yourself... Therefore, I shall thumb you up.
pickles1994 18
I want to get thumbed down too! Omg this is a fun game guys x)
swagisforchumps 9
If she falls for him saying he's gonna get her flowers, but doesn't, how does that make her gullible?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Really?! Like everyone expects a bag of flour when their boyfriend/husband tells them that he is going to buy her favorite flowers for her.
iceliebedich 7
*you're
Tezoma 28
That is pretty awesome, though I'd have him making me something to way using that.
Tezoma 28
Eat* more phone corrections.
RvidxrKlvn 8
Extra hilarious if he gave you chocolate too.
TipOfTheHat 10
Bake him a bread worthy beating stick! Then use it on him!
SneezyBear 27
You should get home and be like "How about some pussy tonight...;)" and then throw a cat at him.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lmfao
iseyixes 18
Well played!
halfbloodprinces_fml 4
This is an epic win. :p
sweetmama88 6
Omg that's too funny.
Obey_StudBoii 23
That was funny and even you know it. Let me give you an example, if it was me and my gf I'd laugh about it with her cause I'm just that kind of person. No need to be upset. Gotta keep the relationship alive by having a sense of humor.
vbmg152 19
You need: A: a sense of humor Or B: a new boyfriend! I've been married to a jokester for 25 yrs and we wouldn't have made it through all the hard times without his sense of humor!
crazytwinsmom 25
Same with 18 years.
evesmith 3
Bitch he still got you flowers stop whining like a 4 year old